Remember this post where my split personalities once again duel in my head over the current state of my career? Turns out, Professional Amy and Professional Amy's employer ganged up on poor Mommy Amy. Sensing imminent doom, Professional Amy's boss offered her the chance to participate in a nifty new "Leadership Program" where she would learn how to hone her "leadership skills" through personal assessments, coaching sessions and management seminars. Professional Amy thought it was a great excuse not to quit her job terrific professional development opportunity she just couldn't pass up.
As consolation, Professional Amy and Hubby came up with a brilliant scheme to get Mommy Amy some more help. While Hubby had been pitching in and would continue to, we all agreed he wasn't the full solution. We needed someone who would be more capable available and proactive. So remember this job description? We realized we already had someone working for us who fit the bill. With the wave of our magic checkbook, we turned our nanny into a "house manager."
It made sense. Both girls would be in school full time in the fall and even when they weren't, they're old enough not to require Nanny's (real name cleverly disguised) full attention the way they did when they were little. We gave Nanny responsibility for cooking dinner for the family, keeping the house stocked with groceries, washing linens and towels and doing a variety of errands (dry cleaning, buying birthday party presents, keeping pet food stocked, etc.). Nanny, being the best. nanny. in. the. world. as well as a natural organization freak, is taking her new duties to heart and creating all kinds of fun organization projects for herself like cleaning out a variety of closets around the house.
Professional Amy is feeling a lighter load but Mommy Amy isn't quite so charmed by this new arrangement. It's hard not to have full control over the house. Nanny's got everything organized to the point where we can't find anything anymore. It's weird to have someone else cook our dinner. In an effort to impress us, Nanny's been trying these strange new dishes. We've gently tried telling her that we'd be very happy to eat the spaghetti and meatballs she made for the kids but she's determined to be the very best house manager she can be.
Carol Brady may have been content to sit around and sip coffee while Alice the Housekeeper controlled the house operations, but Mommy Amy never in a million years thought she'd be the kind of mom who relied on someone else to do what she considers "her job." In the meantime, Professional Amy is making an effort to curb her hours at the office to be around more for the kids. She's still struggling with the balance, but she's learning some things from this new leadership program.
We know we're lucky we can afford the extra help. We know we shouldn't complain. The discontent probably has more to do with how both Amy's are feeling about the job we're doing. We'll see how long this arrangement lasts. But this is where we are. For now.
Monday, June 16, 2008
If Carol Brady Can Do It
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Change You Can Feel Good About
I think its safe to say that after last night's election, Democrats are not in a happy place right now. So while we're divided on how to change the world for the better and who may be best to lead that change, here's something we can all get behind. Change You Can Feel Good About
Seems the Bush Administration is taking advantage of election hype (pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!) and is quietly trying to push through some budget cuts in his proposed 2009 federal budget that severely shortchange vital services for families like child care, Head Start and health care. And yet, he's seeking to make tax cuts for the wealthy permanent.
I could go off on a rant here, but why bother expending precious brain cells when other, more informed and eloquent people have already expended theirs? (Balance people, it's all about balance. Balance and plagiarism.)
So go read the details here and here. And when you're done, take action here. Momsrising.org makes it SUPER easy to advocate against these ridiculous budget cuts. One click of a button and your voice has been heard!
If we can't come to consensus on a candidate, maybe we can work together to support families who need it most.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Go Read This
Here's a lesson in balance (or laziness). Rather than expend my own energy and brain cells (of which I have none left to spare) by enthralling you with my own musings, I'm going to direct you to this fabulous post by one of my favorite bloggers. So glad she's back from the playa. I was getting tired of looking at the palm trees on her blog, wishing I was on my own playa. Go Read This
In her latest post, Mom-101 confirms what us Dems have known all along. Despite all their rhetoric about family values, Republicans are not so much about valuing families.
Read her post, then while you're at it, go to this site and download a free voter guide. It'll give you a great list of questions to ask yourself about the family-friendliness of the candidates you're considering. It's time we elect someone who will do right by those of us trying to earn a living, raise a family and maintain our sanity all at the same time. Our kids may be almost grown by the time we get another shot.
Friday, December 21, 2007
The Costs of a Family-Unfriendly America
A couple of months ago in honor of Halloween, Momsrising.org asked its members "What's really scary for American moms?" Nearly 200 struggling moms from all walks of life posted their scary stories -- middle-class moms "opting out" of their careers as the skyrocketing costs of daycare no longer made fiscal sense for their families; moms with little or no health coverage praying that they or their children never get sick; single moms struggling to make ends meet. It painted a very sad picture of a country clearly failing its most critical resource -- its mothers. The Costs of a Family-Unfriendly America
Unfortunately, the personal struggles of our nation's moms are likely to go unnoticed and unappreciated by our nation's lawmakers and corporate leaders. The picture that's more likely to move those in power is the one that's yet to be painted and is likely the scariest story of all -- the bottom line costs of failing America's families.
I'm no social economist, but consider the logical consequences of a country that demands too much of our nation's parents with little or no support:
The Health Care Burden
It's long been documented that the American worker is over-stressed due a variety of factors including loss of leisure time and extreme work demands and those that are raising families suffer the worst. Countless studies in the last two decades clearly link stress to a multitude of health ailments from cardiovascular disease to psychological and musculoskeletal disorders. One very recent Harvard study even goes so far as to suggest that women in the workforce are shortening their husbands lifespans by as much as 10 years due to stress. While this study draws ire from working moms as it lays the blame squarely at our feet, it shows a clear correlation between working moms and dads in America and negative health effects. Given the number of emotional meltdowns my husband has had to endure as I've tried to balance work and family, I really can't dispute these findings.
Shoving pistachio nuts into my mouth last night crunching to make a work deadline, I was reminded that our country's obesity epidemic goes hand in hand with stress. One only has to watch a few episodes of Oprah to know that stress-induced overeating is rampant in our country, particularly among women, and is likely a key underlying cause of our obesity problem (if my pistachio nut example wasn't scientific enough for you, here's a study from the UK with more empirical proof). Another is our lack of time to make healthy foods for our families or time to be physically active combined with the accessibility and convenience of fast and processed foods. This recent study links the number of hours a woman works to her childrens' BMI. Again, many interpret these studies as "blaming" women when the true underlying cause is an inflexible work culture that demands too much of our time. According to the CDC, obesity accounts for approximately 9% of our national medical bill or $93 billion.
Lost Productivity
Stress, obesity and its associated health effects are leading causes of workplace absences. But companies are also losing highly educated and well trained employees to the "opt-out phenomenon" -- documented by sociologist Pamela Stone, among others -- college- and professionally-educated women leaving their demanding jobs as a desperate measure to reclaim their sanity. My own microcosm bears this out as all of the mothers I know (including me) -- all college-educated career women prior to becoming mothers -- have left, downsized or sacrificed their careers in some way. There are also many mothers who simply can't make work work -- the costs of daycare exceeds their income or leaves very little of it to be worth it. These women leave their jobs not by choice but because they can't "afford" to work. Employee turnover has long been documented as a major drain on business but corporate America has yet to take a good hard look at how the loss of working mothers affects their turnover rates and their bottom line.
Failing our Youth
Research has long shown that the hours immediately after school are prime hours for juvenile crime. Our nation has tried to alleviate this problem by allocating significant funds for after-school programs that help provide supportive environments for "at-risk" kids -- those who are unsupervised after school. Federal cuts in these programs are a constant threat and states continually struggle to keep these programs sufficiently funded. Law enforcement claims that these programs are proven to cut crime rates and save at-risk youth from becoming career criminals, there is tremendous need to expand these programs. Is there another solution? How much money might we save simply by allowing for flexible work schedules? If parents were allowed to work their work schedules around their children's school schedules, how many children could be taken out of the after-school system leaving room to serve those kids who are truly "at risk" (i.e., those whose home lives are less than desirable)? Crime translates to billions of dollars for taxpayers and crime victims.
Overtaxing our Social Welfare System
Of course the greatest burden of a family-unfriendly American falls on low income families. These are families who despite doing everything right -- working diligently to support their families -- are barely getting by (much less getting ahead) and are often one misstep away from a financial crisis. These families tend to have jobs with lower wages, no benefits and little or no flexibility. Once these families fall on hard times, they must rely on our welfare system. Emory health economist Kenneth E. Thorpe has estimated that unpaid hospital bills, mostly a result of uninsured patients, cost $45 billion which increases insurance costs by 8.5%. This recent report from the Urban Institute begins to outline the support that would help low income families meet their family responsibilities while doing right by their employers and even highlights some success stories. How much could we reduce our nation's welfare costs and/or our unpaid health care bill by implementing some of these common sense supports?
I could go on, but I'm starting to depress myself. The point is that until someone with some heavy duty letters next to their name working for a credible institution takes a close and careful look through the volumes of research that already exist and does a serious cost-benefit analysis to bringing some health and sanity back into our lives, little is likely to change. The solution to supporting our nation's working moms and dads will take the combined efforts of government and employers. But we must first make the argument in dollars, not just common sense, to move their hearts and minds.