Showing posts with label flexible schedules. Show all posts
Showing posts with label flexible schedules. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Another One Bites the Dust

One of my favorite working mommy bloggers finally threw in the towel.

*Sigh*

Can't say I blame her. She fought the good fight. She made heroic efforts to invite peace and sanity into her life. She scaled back her work assignments, did the part-time thing. She took control of her life, setting clear limits both in her work life and in her personal life. She did EVERYTHING right to try to perfectly balance mommyhood and a successful out of home job with a major firm in a big, fancy office and it STILL wasn't enough.

Lately I've been wondering if work/life balance for us moms is at all possible. I'm especially wondering that today, a day that began with me bolting out the door at the crack of dawn to make an 8 am meeting reeling off instructions to my husband about straightening up the house for the cleaning service and the list of stuff daughter #2 needed for preschool. Despite my clear direction, he forgot to put a towel in said daughter's backpack for swimming and she sadly had to share another kid's towel (dang, I KNEW that was too much information for him!). The replay of her 4 year-old dismay when she discovered no towel, her reluctance to say something to her teachers and her shivering, dripping little body as she stood patiently waiting for her friend's used wet towel continues to play over and over in my head ("And it didn't even have a princess on it, Mommy!") Oh, the guilt!!!

We often blame the extreme work environments and inflexible work policies for the imbalance. But I have all the flexibility one could possibly want. My boss lets me set my own schedule. I'm free to attend any school play, recital, parent/teacher conference, doctors appointment I want. I can work from home at the drop of a hat. Heck, my organization actually gives me 15 hours of time off a year, separate and apart from my regular time off, to do volunteer work. And volunteering at my kids' schools counts! I have a fabulous nanny and though he may not be perfect, my husband does do his part. And yet I STILL find it completely overwhelming.

Why is that? Why can't we seem to make work...well, work? Is it because we're a product of our generation -- hopeless over-achievers unable to let go and not do everything perfectly? Or is it that work and motherhood really truly in our heart of hearts if we were really truly honest with ourselves really don't mix?

I curse the 70's and its unrealistic, idealistic vision for us women. I still blame Gloria Steinem and that f-ing bring home the bacon commercial for making us believe we could do it all. Not to mention that Free to Be You and Me "Parents are People" song (click through -- you gotta watch this). We were brainwashed!

There's gotta be a better way -- some kind of solution. But I'm too tired to figure it out now. After all, tomorrow is another day.
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Friday, December 21, 2007

The Costs of a Family-Unfriendly America

A couple of months ago in honor of Halloween, Momsrising.org asked its members "What's really scary for American moms?" Nearly 200 struggling moms from all walks of life posted their scary stories -- middle-class moms "opting out" of their careers as the skyrocketing costs of daycare no longer made fiscal sense for their families; moms with little or no health coverage praying that they or their children never get sick; single moms struggling to make ends meet. It painted a very sad picture of a country clearly failing its most critical resource -- its mothers.

Unfortunately, the personal struggles of our nation's moms are likely to go unnoticed and unappreciated by our nation's lawmakers and corporate leaders. The picture that's more likely to move those in power is the one that's yet to be painted and is likely the scariest story of all -- the bottom line costs of failing America's families.

I'm no social economist, but consider the logical consequences of a country that demands too much of our nation's parents with little or no support:

The Health Care Burden
It's long been documented that the American worker is over-stressed due a variety of factors including loss of leisure time and extreme work demands and those that are raising families suffer the worst. Countless studies in the last two decades clearly link stress to a multitude of health ailments from cardiovascular disease to psychological and musculoskeletal disorders. One very recent Harvard study even goes so far as to suggest that women in the workforce are shortening their husbands lifespans by as much as 10 years due to stress. While this study draws ire from working moms as it lays the blame squarely at our feet, it shows a clear correlation between working moms and dads in America and negative health effects. Given the number of emotional meltdowns my husband has had to endure as I've tried to balance work and family, I really can't dispute these findings.

Shoving pistachio nuts into my mouth last night crunching to make a work deadline, I was reminded that our country's obesity epidemic goes hand in hand with stress. One only has to watch a few episodes of Oprah to know that stress-induced overeating is rampant in our country, particularly among women, and is likely a key underlying cause of our obesity problem (if my pistachio nut example wasn't scientific enough for you, here's a study from the UK with more empirical proof). Another is our lack of time to make healthy foods for our families or time to be physically active combined with the accessibility and convenience of fast and processed foods. This recent study links the number of hours a woman works to her childrens' BMI. Again, many interpret these studies as "blaming" women when the true underlying cause is an inflexible work culture that demands too much of our time. According to the CDC, obesity accounts for approximately 9% of our national medical bill or $93 billion.

Lost Productivity
Stress, obesity and its associated health effects are leading causes of workplace absences. But companies are also losing highly educated and well trained employees to the "opt-out phenomenon" -- documented by sociologist Pamela Stone, among others -- college- and professionally-educated women leaving their demanding jobs as a desperate measure to reclaim their sanity. My own microcosm bears this out as all of the mothers I know (including me) -- all college-educated career women prior to becoming mothers -- have left, downsized or sacrificed their careers in some way. There are also many mothers who simply can't make work work -- the costs of daycare exceeds their income or leaves very little of it to be worth it. These women leave their jobs not by choice but because they can't "afford" to work. Employee turnover has long been documented as a major drain on business but corporate America has yet to take a good hard look at how the loss of working mothers affects their turnover rates and their bottom line.

Failing our Youth
Research has long shown that the hours immediately after school are prime hours for juvenile crime. Our nation has tried to alleviate this problem by allocating significant funds for after-school programs that help provide supportive environments for "at-risk" kids -- those who are unsupervised after school. Federal cuts in these programs are a constant threat and states continually struggle to keep these programs sufficiently funded. Law enforcement claims that these programs are proven to cut crime rates and save at-risk youth from becoming career criminals, there is tremendous need to expand these programs. Is there another solution? How much money might we save simply by allowing for flexible work schedules? If parents were allowed to work their work schedules around their children's school schedules, how many children could be taken out of the after-school system leaving room to serve those kids who are truly "at risk" (i.e., those whose home lives are less than desirable)? Crime translates to billions of dollars for taxpayers and crime victims.

Overtaxing our Social Welfare System
Of course the greatest burden of a family-unfriendly American falls on low income families. These are families who despite doing everything right -- working diligently to support their families -- are barely getting by (much less getting ahead) and are often one misstep away from a financial crisis. These families tend to have jobs with lower wages, no benefits and little or no flexibility. Once these families fall on hard times, they must rely on our welfare system. Emory health economist Kenneth E. Thorpe has estimated that unpaid hospital bills, mostly a result of uninsured patients, cost $45 billion which increases insurance costs by 8.5%. This recent report from the Urban Institute begins to outline the support that would help low income families meet their family responsibilities while doing right by their employers and even highlights some success stories. How much could we reduce our nation's welfare costs and/or our unpaid health care bill by implementing some of these common sense supports?

I could go on, but I'm starting to depress myself. The point is that until someone with some heavy duty letters next to their name working for a credible institution takes a close and careful look through the volumes of research that already exist and does a serious cost-benefit analysis to bringing some health and sanity back into our lives, little is likely to change. The solution to supporting our nation's working moms and dads will take the combined efforts of government and employers. But we must first make the argument in dollars, not just common sense, to move their hearts and minds.
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Thursday, August 30, 2007

I'm on the New Mommy Track!!

US News and World Report did a cover story on me!!! Ok, well not me specifically, but on moms like me.

This week's US News and World Report cover story "The New Mommy Track" is about how some women are avoiding the "opt out" phenomenon by negotiating flexible work schedules and non-traditional career tracks. I'm so thrilled to see other women finding ways to blend work and family in ways that work for them.

I've been blazing this trail in my own organization, negotiating a variety of unique work arrangements over the last five years. Following my very first maternity leave, I asked my (relatively) new boss if I could work from home a couple of days a week to be close to my baby and keep an eye on our new nanny. He reluctantly agreed to a temporary trial and it ended up working out for both of us. I remained as flexible as I could to accommodate work needs and as soon as I was comfortable leaving my daughter, I was back at the office full time. When my second daughter came along three years later, I was tired of the full time working mommy thing and wanted out. I tried to resign, but my boss, now having built a level of confidence and trust in me, made me an offer I couldn't refuse -- a part time position. We negotiated hours, carefully devised a role that fit my experience and kept the workload to a manageable level. Each year, I arranged my work schedule around my children, working mostly on the days that they were in preschool.

Now I'm back at work full time (see this post on the impetus behind that decision), yet I still have a flexible schedule. Our wonderful nanny, who has been with us since my part time days, is only available to us a few days a week. That means two days a week, I leave the office mid-day to pick up my preschooler and work from home the rest of the day. It's not easy to tear myself from the office in the middle of a workday or to conduct business from home. I could make things alot easier on myself by finding alternate childcare arrangements. But the reward is seeing my little one light up when I show up at her school and watching my older daughter jump off the school bus and run around with the neighborhood kids.

Having been the first in my department and among the first in my office to have struck a unique work arrangement, I have felt like a pioneer these last five years. It has not always been easy and it has not been ideal. I often felt guilty for having "special" arrangements (and still do), I sometimes missed out on things (both at work and at home) and the juggling thing can be pretty exhausting. But it has been do-able and it's been the best solution for me. I agree with the US News article that these arrangements are not yet the norm, and I have to give props to my boss who recognizes that he works in a female dominated industry and that he's better off being flexible than hiring new employees all the time. He also has a wife that has struggled with the work/mom quandry. We now have several women in our department with flexible working arrangements (one part-timer and two that job-share) and several former new mommy employees do freelance work for us.

I truly hope this US News article inspires other moms to think outside the box and come up with solutions that work for them. If you've worked for a company for a number of years, you've proven yourself, have a good relationship with your supervisor and he/she is a reasonable person, flexible work arrangements are possible. The trick is to believe in your value and understand that your employer has more to lose than you do if you leave. We do have quite a way to go before these opportunities are available to everyone. But that's something we can work on together.
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