tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40444508665940846912024-02-20T23:29:28.326-05:00Up With MomsIf we don't stick up for ourselves, who else will???Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.comBlogger133125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-65671433658126389452012-06-23T14:23:00.002-04:002012-06-24T08:14:41.138-04:00When Will We See Some Action?Every once and a while, the media gets it right. Instead of fanning the flames of the bogus "<a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/deborahljacobs/2012/05/08/who-started-the-mommy-wars/" target="_blank">Mommy Wars</a>," a story hits on the real issues that modern moms face today. It came up briefly when senior adviser <a href="http://articles.cnn.com/2002-04-23/politics/hughes.resigning_1_president-jokes-white-house-texas-republican-party?_s=PM:ALLPOLITICS" target="_blank">Karen Hughes left her job</a> at the White House during the Bush administration and then her colleague <a href="http://articles.cnn.com/2002-12-13/politics/matalin.resign_1_mary-matalin-top-adviser-bush-re-election-campaign?_s=PM:ALLPOLITICS" target="_blank">Mary Matalin quickly followed suit</a> in 2002. It surfaced again when <a href="http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Every-Mothers-Dilemma/1" target="_blank">Elizabeth Vargas left her prestigious anchor position</a> on ABC's <i>World News Tonight </i>in 2006 to be more accessible to her husband and new baby.<br />
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The latest is <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-can-8217-t-have-it-all/9020/" target="_blank">"Why Women Still Can't Have it All"</a> by Anne-Marie Slaughter who gave up a high ranking state department job to spend more time with her family. Slaughter's cover story in the July/August issue of The Atlantic lays out all of the complex issues modern mothers face today -- everything from the disillusionment my generation feels for having been sold a bill of goods around the fallacy of 'having it all" (mine manifested itself in an <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2007/02/im-down-with-gloria-steinem.html" target="_blank">irrational hatred for Gloria Steinem</a>), to the <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2008/08/tearing-down-facade.html" target="_blank">disservice we continue to do to the next generation of mothers by pretending that we've got this work-life balance thing figured out</a>, to the way <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2008/10/angry.html" target="_blank">our society hasn't changed to meet the demands of working women</a>, to the <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2007/08/divide-and-conquer.html" target="_blank">pivotal</a> but <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2008/09/they-cant-be-grandmas-or-mommies.html" target="_blank">still constrained</a> role the men in our lives play, to the <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2007/09/are-we-too-busy.html" target="_blank">unhealthy</a> and <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2009/02/working-less-to-stimulate-economy.html" target="_blank">unforgiving American workplace </a>and <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2008/01/im-addicted-to-my-stuff.html" target="_blank">culture of capitalism run amok</a> that values and rewards people for working ridiculous hours.<br />
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While I'm thrilled that a major media outlet has finally comprehensively covered the issues that were the <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2007/02/up-with-moms.html" target="_blank">very impetus of this blog</a> and been the bane of my existence since I became a mom 12 years ago, I can't help but be a tad cynical. Will this story just come and go with the wind, just like the Hughes and Vargas stories did earlier this century? What will finally be the impetus for change? Slaughter asserts that having more women in power will help, and I don't dispute that. But how will we get those women in power if those powerful positions are impossible for moms to attain? And who will demand change when the people afflicted by these issues j<a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2008/06/its-up-to-us.html" target="_blank">ust happen to be the busiest people on the face of the planet</a>?<br />
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At the end of her article, Slaughter points out some hopeful signs of change and re-frames the debate from one that asks, "How can women have it all?" to "How can we allow all Americans (both parents and non-parents) to pursue healthy, happy, productive lives?" I do believe that will be a more productive discussion that would be more widely embraced. <span style="background-color: white;">But when will we stop talking about these issues and start to see some action? After reading about, contemplating and blogging about these issues for more than a decade, I'm no longer hopeful that meaningful change will be seen in the course of my career. But can I dare to hold out hope that things will change for the better by the time my daughters are ready to make their career choices?</span><br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-85017594637186821172012-04-12T06:49:00.001-04:002012-04-12T06:49:05.039-04:00Your Children Want YOU!This story has been making the circuit on Facebook and has clearly struck a chord with moms. It's the same message I've often espoused on this blog. When did we decide we had to be <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2008/12/im-too-busy-to-blog.html" target="_blank">Martha Stewart</a> or <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2007/08/mothers-against-martyrdom.html" target="_blank">the perfect mom</a>? Again, too often we're our own worst enemy. We put too much pressure on ourselves.<br />
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Go read <a href="http://powerofmoms.com/2012/04/your-children-want-you/">Your Children Want YOU!</a> And then forget the dirty dishes or the laundry or the homemade, crafty thank you notes you have on your to-do list. Plop down in front of the TV with your kids, which is one of my favorite things to do.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-78871195642401173072012-03-14T17:38:00.001-04:002012-03-14T17:56:44.194-04:00Woman Should Let Men Help Them More<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; text-align: -webkit-auto; font-size: medium; ">There's proof!!!! We are our own worst enemies. I was so happy to see this new study published in Real Simple magazine and reported by ABC News. I have been espousing this for years -- if we are ever going to gain any semblance of sanity and balance, we have to learn to let go and let others help out. It hasn't always been easy, but I have FINALLY figured found the right things for Hubby and our wonderful Nanny to take off my plate. It makes all the difference in the world. My load is so much lighter. I can actually (sometimes) breathe.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; text-align: -webkit-auto; font-size: medium; "><br /></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; text-align: -webkit-auto; font-size: medium; ">Watch this video and then go figure out what you can <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2008/06/if-carol-brady-can-do-it.html">delegate and/or outsource</a>. It's the best thing you can do for yourself and your family.</p><br class="Apple-interchange-newline"><br /><br /><object name="kaltura_player_1331760696" id="kaltura_player_1331760696" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allownetworking="all" allowfullscreen="true" height="221" width="392" data="http://cdnapi.kaltura.com/index.php/kwidget/wid/0_88bj2nuc/uiconf_id/6501231"><br /> <param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><br /> <param name="allowNetworking" value="all"><br /> <param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><br /> <param name="bgcolor" value="#000000"><br /> <param name="movie" value="http://cdnapi.kaltura.com/index.php/kwidget/wid/0_88bj2nuc/uiconf_id/6501231"><br /> <param name="flashVars" value="referer=http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/women-should-let-men-help-around-the-house-chores-stress-new-study-health-15899296&autoPlay=false"><br /> <a href="http://corp.kaltura.com/">video platform</a><br /> <a href="http://corp.kaltura.com/video_platform/video_management">video management</a><br /> <a href="http://corp.kaltura.com/solutions/video_solution">video solutions</a><br /> <a href="http://corp.kaltura.com/video_platform/video_publishing">video player</a><br /></object><div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-48213761120155989162011-07-16T22:44:00.000-04:002011-07-16T22:44:17.770-04:00A Mom's Missive to Congress<div>I'm so sick of this debt ceiling thing. And I am so sick of Congress. Really I am. I am so tired of the lack of compromises, the grandstanding. We need leaders. Not petulant children who dig their heels in the ground. I wrote <a href="http://www.deepsouthmoms.com/2009/09/a-moms-missive-to-congress-no-more-bad-behavior.html">this post</a> a few years ago about health care reform -- another highly contentious debate. The message still holds for the debt ceiling -- Congress, get to work and get the job done!</div><div><br /></div><a href="http://www.deepsouthmoms.com/2009/09/a-moms-missive-to-congress-no-more-bad-behavior.html">Deep South Moms: A Mom's Missive to Congress: No More Bad Behavior</a><div><br /></div><div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-37522819968081518512011-03-06T10:27:00.001-05:002011-03-06T10:29:39.061-05:00Deep South Moms: Cupcakes for a Stronger AmericaI wrote this post a couple of years ago, but it came to mind again just this past week as I got to have yet another cupcake moment with my "little one" who just turned 8 this past Friday.<br /><br />Imagine how much stronger our country could be if those cupcake moments were standard and not just for a lucky few.<br /><br />Go read:<br /><a href="http://www.deepsouthmoms.com/2009/03/cupcakes-for-a-stronger-america.html">Deep South Moms: Cupcakes for a Stronger America</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-87606329578027472252010-12-26T10:09:00.004-05:002010-12-26T10:50:28.360-05:00Stop the MadnessI haven't been blogging much lately, mostly because once again I lost my mind and thought it would be ok to take on a little too much, just for a couple of months. Lesson learned: stupid, stupid, stupid. And, in what I'm sure was a physical manifestation of my mental state, I ruptured a disc in my back and have been spending way too much time with doctors and physical therapists. It's been fun.<br /><br />So for the holidays, I'm striving for balance by pulling out not one, but two time honored traditions here at Up With Moms -- relying on other people's content and running a re-run.<br /><br />So here's a great holiday post, making the same point that I often do on this blog -- we are our own worst enemies. Go read <a href="http://womensissues.about.com/gi/pages/shareurl.htm?PG=http%3a%2f%2fwomensissues.about.com%2fb%2f2010%2f12%2f25%2flate-night-rituals-unplugging-machines-and-late-queens-reflections-on-womens-roles-at-christmas.htm&zItl=Late%20Night%20Rituals%2c%20Unplugging%20Machines%20and%20Late%20Queens%20-%20Reflections%20on%20Women%27s%20Roles%20at%20Christmas">this</a>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>But before you do, read this holiday post that I wrote a couple of years ago which makes that same point. AND REMEMBER THIS FOR NEXT YEAR (which is more a reminder for me than it is for you.)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I'm Too Busy to Blog </span>(originally posted December 3, 2008)<br /><br />Well, it's the holidays and you know what that means. Time to pile a thousand more to-dos on top of the already unrealistic and overflowing list of to-dos.<br /><br />I'm sure, like me, you're scouring the Internet for inexpensive holiday gifts for everyone you know and probably some people you hardly know but feel compelled to buy gifts for. And while you're trying oh-so hard to find gifts that are not too expensive because the economy has sucked the life out of your bank account, you're putting additional pressure on yourself to find gifts with <span style="font-style: italic;">meaning</span> because that's what the holidays are truly about -- <span style="font-style: italic;">meaning</span>. And you're scouring the Internet for holiday card deals, but not just any deals -- <a href="http://www.mamabirddiaries.com/?p=2275">deals for recycled cards</a> because it's all about being green. And you're trying to figure out how to upload your goddamn holiday picture with your lovely family and your fake smile into the photo card template which you now have spent WAY too much time on because you couldn't find <span style="font-style: italic;">just</span> the right photo and then the photo you tried to use was too low-res so you had to redo it. AND because you don't have enough to do, you're about to bake four dozen homemade cookies for the neighborhood holiday cookie exchange because you're the freaking <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2008/08/hail-to-chief.html">President of the freaking neighborhood Women's Club</a> that you <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">totally</span> didn't have time to take on, but you did anyway for some ungodly reason. AND OF COURSE they can't be any old cookies, they have to be the ULTIMATE peanut butter cookies with the Reese's peanut butter cups in the middle that you bake in a mini-muffin pan because regular cookies just aren't freaking special enough, LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE A FULL TIME JOB ALREADY????!!!!!<br /><br />Oh, wait. That could be just me.<br /><br />Except I don't think it is just me. It's a sickness, I admit it. And you need to admit it too. When did we decide we had to be Martha Stewart with the perfect holiday card, giving out the perfect holiday gifts and serving up the perfect holiday fare? It's all a sham. Our lives are so not perfect yet every year we try to fool ourselves and each other into thinking that they are.<br /><br />I loved <a href="http://www.mommytrackd.com/post-balance">this post</a> on MommyTrak'd about living in a post-balance world and declaring 2009 the year of the un-balance. I'm all for that -- it's time we came out of the closet about our failures and frailties. I'll start. Hi, I'm Amy. And I'm completely unbalanced. See, it's easy. First step is admitting the problem. Second step is giving up the behavior. I know -- I could send my Christmas cards with a picture of the pee and poop piles that my dog and cat have been consistently leaving us around the house which would be a much more realistic depiction of our lives lately. And maybe I could show up to the cookie exchange with a bag of Oreos.<br /><br />Maybe next year. Being a control freak with perfectionistic tendencies, it's that second step that'll trip me up.<br /><br />Well at least I now have one thing off of my to-do list -- another blog post.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-480883608257796702010-10-21T07:35:00.000-04:002010-10-21T07:35:23.427-04:00The kids are all right: Few negative associations with moms' return to work after having children, review findsHere's another good read. Unfortunately, this did not make national news. Only the negative studies do. Who knows how many of these affirming studies exist for every negative or potentially controversial studies.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/10/101014121152.htm?sms_ss=blogger&at_xt=4cc025245fc0d356,0">The kids are all right: Few negative associations with moms' return to work after having children, review finds</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-46216204304183608742010-10-14T06:15:00.001-04:002010-10-14T06:15:11.659-04:00Go Read This<p>Dontcha just love share to social? Instant relevant content from people who write alot better than I do.<br/></p><p>Take a minute to read <a href="http://gotaf.socialtwist.com/redirect?l=-214605086331288299311">Too Bad Mayor Bloomberg Was Never A Working Mother</a> over at the Momsrising blog. Unfortunately this is the biggest obstacle to the motherhood movement -- a Congress full of people that have never faced the obstacles that we do.</p><p/><div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-82511166829725468412010-08-11T21:19:00.004-04:002010-08-11T23:12:00.515-04:00What I Didn't Learn At BlogHerSo of course the very year I decide to take an "off" BlogHer year, they go and create a panel about the very subject that I blog about. Figures.<br /><br />I am so very bummed to have missed the "Screw Work/Life Balance -- We Need Work/Life Policy" panel. It was spearheaded by the lovely and talented <a href="http://ht.ly/2nGFD">Morra Aarons Mele</a> who I happen to know and work with IRL and Stephanie Wilchfort, aka <a href="http://themamabee.com/">The Mama Bee</a>. But fortunately, as it generally goes at blogging conferences, there are no shortage of <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/morra-aaronsmele/screw-work-life-balance-w_b_667749.html">pre-event posts</a>, <a href="http://www.blogher.com/official-blogher-10-liveblog-change-agents-royo-screw-worklife-balance-we-need-worklife-policy?wrap=blogher10liveblogging&crumb=73566">live-blog replays</a>, <a href="http://www.wlbconsultants.com/2010/08/power-platforms-and-m-word.html#more">post</a>-<a href="http://familiesandwork.org/blog/?p=628">event</a> <a href="http://themamabee.com/2010/08/11/its-the-small-stuff-thats-going-to-bring-about-the-revolution/">perspectives</a> and even session <a href="http://twitter.com/#search?q=%23goodwork">Twitter streams</a> to catch you up. After I finished all my reading, I felt like I had been there!<br /><br />I was so excited about some of the things that were discussed in this session --a few things particularly resonated with me. 1) We need to focus not so much on work flexibility as we do on work-life balance. Flexible working arrangements may be part of the solution, but that often addresses where and when you work, but not necessarily <span style="font-style: italic;">how much</span> you work. Extreme work environments are killing our families and our sense of equilibrium and we need to set better boundaries. 2) Work-life balance isn't just a mom or women's issue. It's a human issue. Men need balance as much as women do, particularly if they are going to be better partners in helping balance the load at home. But work-life balance is an issue for everyone -- even those that don't have kids. Everyone has a life. We need to reframe this debate 3) Policy change alone can't be the solution. It's a <a href="http://ht.ly/2nGFD">"holy trinity of corporate, legislative and individual action</a>."<br /><br />And while there was alot of talk about how we need to use our voices -- our blogs and tweets -- as channels of change, one thing has been on my mind lately. Women and moms are such coveted markets for politicians and corporations alike. Politicians create entire initiatives to court the women's vote. Corporations spend millions of dollars to compete for women's buying power and also for quality workforces. How can we use that political and consumer capital to help advance this issue? Maybe someone needs to create an <a href="http://reviews.angieslist.com/Home-Remodeling/Contractors.aspx?af=103001&RefID=PPC:124&utm_term=contractors%20ratings&s_kwcid=TC%7C20006%7Ccontractors%20ratings%7C%7CS%7Cb%7C5845621481">Angie's list for work-life balance</a> -- a review site for politicians and companies where people can give the real scoop on corporate work-life policies and politician track records on these issues. We moms can then use that intel to decide what to buy, where to work and who to vote for. That might get some change real quick. Anyone got some spare time on their hands?<br /><br />In any case, I am very much looking forward to seeing where this conversation (<a href="http://ht.ly/2nGFD">movement? evolution? revolution?</a>) leads and to being a part of it.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-82246875755381436112010-06-15T06:43:00.003-04:002010-06-15T06:49:43.407-04:00Go Read ThisWe are taking a well-deserved break here at Up With Moms and enjoying a European vacation. I am luxuriating not only in the beautiful sights of London and Paris, but in the downtime between sightseeing. I came across this interesting article on <a href="http://blogs.wsj.com/juggle/2010/06/14/is-the-us-waging-a-war-on-moms/">The Juggle</a>, the Wall Street Journal's blog about balancing work and kids, during a down period (yey high speed internet access in Paris!!!). What do you think, is the <a href="http://blogs.wsj.com/juggle/2010/06/14/is-the-us-waging-a-war-on-moms/">US waging a war against moms</a>?<div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-13204887691245435352010-05-16T16:55:00.017-04:002010-05-17T09:03:41.023-04:00I Could Write a Book, But It's Already Been WrittenIt's hard to believe it's been a more than decade since I began this journey called motherhood. Ten full years of not only trying to figure out how to raise and mold bright, thoughtful and productive human beings, but trying to figure out how not to lose myself and my career in the process. It's been mostly a journey of <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2007/08/im-on-new-mommy-track.html">trial</a> and <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2008/02/inside-my-head.html">error</a> -- but looking back, I realized I've learned SO much. I could fill volumes with the lessons learned, but as I gaze at the extensive library I've amassed and relied on along the way, I realize that most of it's already been written.<br /><br />If I wrote a book, I'd inevitably start with a chapter on what I wish I knew before I became a mother. Except Maria <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Shriver</span> already wrote it and it's called,<span style="font-style: italic;"> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Things-Wish-Known-Before-World/dp/0446526126/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274099540&sr=8-1"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ten Things I Wish I'd Known -- Before I Went into the Real World</span></a></span>. This quick read started as a fabulous graduation speech that was ultimately published. In it, there are a couple of great chapters, including "Superwoman is Dead...and Superman May Be Taking Viagra" and "Children Do Change Your Career." Both offer great perspective on motherhood and attempt to manage expectations of what you can realistically accomplish as a mom.<br /><br />The next part of my book would detail the reality of motherhood -- how the joy of meeting and raising the greatest loves of our lives is tempered by the pain and confusion of trying to decide who we are now that everything but our name and phone number has changed and what kind of mother we want to be (working or not) and how that decision is sometimes made for us when we realize that the modern workforce, society at large and even sometimes our own biology doesn't quite accommodate a mother's choice to work. There are so many books on this topic from <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Expectations-Women-about-Becoming-Mother/dp/0811816745/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274099601&sr=1-1"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Expectations</span></a>, a collection of essays by and about mothers, to the stark, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Mask-Motherhood-Becoming-Changes-Everything/dp/0863584071/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274099630&sr=1-5"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">The Mask of Motherhood</span></a> by Susan <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Maushart</span> that debunks society's myths about the glorification of motherhood, to the more tempered and practical, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Opting-Out-Women-Really-Careers/dp/0520256573/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274099709&sr=1-1"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Opting Out</span></a> by Pamela Stone or <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Glass-Ceiling-Sticky-Floor/dp/1573927457/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274099739&sr=1-1"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">It's Not the Glass Ceiling, It's the Sticky Floor</span></a> by Dr. Karen <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Enberg</span> that chronicle why women have such a hard time managing both work and motherhood.<br /><br />Of course any book would have to offer practical advice on how to make it work if you do choose to "hang on to your career with your fingernails." But books like <a href="http://www.amazon.com/This-How-We-Do-Manifesto/dp/B000NA1XVC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274099777&sr=1-1"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">This is How We Do It</span></a> by Carol Evans, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/How-Avoid-Mommy-Trap-Parenting/dp/1931868557/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274099814&sr=1-1"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">How to Avoid the Mommy Trap</span></a> by Julie Shields, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/NeXt-Revolution-Women-Boomer-Bosses/dp/0891062009/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274101368&sr=8-1"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">NeXt</span> Revolution</span></a> by Charlotte and Laura Shelton and the very funny <a href="http://www.amazon.com/White-Trash-Mom-Handbook-Assimilation/dp/0312371225/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274099849&sr=1-1"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">The White Trash Mom Handbook</span></a>, among many others all thoroughly cover this topic.<br /><br />The most difficult section to write would be the end -- what's the resolution? There is still so much work to do to make things better for us moms. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Motherhood-Manifesto-What-Americas-About/dp/1560258845/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274099877&sr=1-1"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Motherood</span> Manifesto</span></a>, the rallying cry for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Momsrising</span>.org by Joan Blades and Kristen Rowe-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Finkbeiner</span>, thoroughly details the issues and lays out great arguments for better public policy on everything from affordable childcare to equal wages for equal work. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Why-Work-Sucks-How-Joke/dp/B001OMHV0K/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274099906&sr=1-1"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Why Work Sucks and How to Fix it</span></a> by former Best Buy employees Cali <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Ressler</span> and Jody <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Thomspon</span> and inventors of a fabulous alternative work idea called ROWE (results-only work environment) offers a unique approach to help balance work and family not just for women but for everyone.<br /><br />But I believe the first step is helping women find their voice. We have to first recognize that as women and mothers, we have tremendous value collectively and individually. We have to believe that there are ways we can make things better for ourselves -- first at home, then at work and in society. We have to understand that just like the suffragists or the feminists before us, we are the only ones that can change things. We have to speak up and speak out.<br /><br />Maybe I don't have to write a book. Maybe through this blog, in some small way, I can help inspire and effect incremental change. We all have to start somewhere.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-51592752479980165732010-05-12T07:05:00.002-04:002010-05-12T07:09:56.752-04:00Go Read ThisIt's great that President Obama has nominated another woman (and a Jewish one, no less) to serve on the nation's highest court. I love his commitment to diversity. But blogger Joanne Bamberger, aka PunditMom asks a very important question -- does the Supreme Court need another mom?<br /><br />No doubt about it. Go read the rest of her post <a href="http://thestir.cafemom.com/in_the_news/102844/the_supreme_court_needs_another?result=comment_added&success=1#comments">here</a>.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-39796035941857401242010-05-06T10:29:00.011-04:002010-05-06T13:20:16.066-04:00Me and My New BFF Say Choose You!!!I'm just back from the whirlwind launch of the American Cancer Society's new program, Choose You, in New York City. Me and my new BFF, Grey's Anatomy's Ellen Pompeo, did media interviews and a major event in Times Square to launch this program that will help save lives and create more birthdays!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbkt7R1XcnhyJ26xKtH4XC8h8IanU4o9fR2NkceaL6Op8rNqW9hejTNBPq4vVM2zPJgGKwb6KP0X17oxQLr_F2DCOdwdDzS1jNBXAztlsp80qQagUpxnddCdQsqOQq8jGOLc5rLIJS0zrf/s1600/IMG_4721.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbkt7R1XcnhyJ26xKtH4XC8h8IanU4o9fR2NkceaL6Op8rNqW9hejTNBPq4vVM2zPJgGKwb6KP0X17oxQLr_F2DCOdwdDzS1jNBXAztlsp80qQagUpxnddCdQsqOQq8jGOLc5rLIJS0zrf/s200/IMG_4721.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5468168152866792818" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;">Me and my new BFF, Ellen Pompeo, together at last!</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Ok, so really, I didn't even get to meet Ellen until we were about 3/4 of the way through the program. I was MC and she hugged me after she spoke. I introduced myself after the event, ("Now that we've hugged, I'm Amy by the way!") We chatted about her totally chic platform stilettos (which is probably what we were doing when this picture was taken. I asked her how the heck she walked in those things and she replied, "If it makes you feel any better, they really hurt!") and then the next day we had a brief exchange in an elevator about her plans for the rest of the week. But great friendships have to start somewhere, right?<br /><br />But the real news is that this program, <a href="http://www.chooseyou.com/">Choose You</a>, really has the potential to save lives. I absolutely love the Choose You message -- we simply HAVE to put ourselves and our health on the priority list. If you don't, at some point, you'll absolutely eventually hit a wall. You never know what that wall will look like -- <a href="http://blog.chooseyou.com/2010/05/06/im-choosing-me/">strep throat</a>, <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2008/10/angry.html">depression</a> or maybe even <a href="http://www.hope4peyton.org/2010/public-service-announcement/">something worse</a> -- but whatever it is, it won't be pretty.<br /><br />I smashed face-first into<a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2009/01/this-ones-gotta-stick.html"> my own wall</a> a while back and it's been a <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2010/01/resolution.html">long journey</a> to get around it. Last year it was therapy, paring back on both work and extracurricular commitments and just taking a few minutes for myself everyday. This year, I'm working with a trainer to improve my diet and get regular exercise. Each one of those steps have made me feel incrementally better and today I feel better than I have since I had kids. It's still a work in progress --life (and whirlwind business trips to NY) often gets in the way -- but overall, it's been such a great thing for me and my family.<br /><br />Of course, the hardest part is keeping committed. First my therapist and now my trainer made me report back my progress to them every week. And Hubby, Nanny and my kids have been my biggest cheerleaders. If I didn't have my "coach" and my own personal cheering section, I definitely would let myself slide. So the other thing I love about Choose You is that you don't need a therapist or a trainer -- it actually keeps you accountable. Here's how it works:<ol><li>You pick a goal -- improve your diet, get more exercise, get your screening test -- whatever you want to do!</li><li>You (as <a href="http://www.fitsugar.com/Pictures-Ellen-Pompeo-Choose-You-American-Cancer-Society-Event-8328743">FitSugar blog</a> says) "put your money where your mouth is" -- commit at least $5/goal. The money is refundable if you reach your goal. If not, it goes to ACS.<br /></li><li>Designate someone to be your referee. This is the person that's going to hold you accountable. You can be your own referee, but you'll want to think hard about whether you'll be a good one or not!<br /></li><li>Recruit your friends and family members to cheer you on and even make support pledges.<br /></li></ol><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfoQ8CBTnhOTLIts9ii533toAGjCh6Sge2Y8yc3t7YyRkRQVbtGUvQYLLk2cbdXgAfx7l35GXBmub16xs2Dp8BcJEE-K3cENsqg_boCLJxdwUnvNIdw4f-UK6Bn_LgdjAxoP_97wpmxqdV/s1600/IMG_4774.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 294px; height: 219px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfoQ8CBTnhOTLIts9ii533toAGjCh6Sge2Y8yc3t7YyRkRQVbtGUvQYLLk2cbdXgAfx7l35GXBmub16xs2Dp8BcJEE-K3cENsqg_boCLJxdwUnvNIdw4f-UK6Bn_LgdjAxoP_97wpmxqdV/s200/IMG_4774.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5468184429738575426" border="0" /></a><br />I have to admit, when I first signed up for the Get Active pledge on <a href="http://www.chooseyou.com/">chooseyou.com</a> (I'm great at getting to my trainer twice a week, but have a really hard time getting in that third day of exercise), I balked at the $5/week pledge thing. I sent a note to my colleagues -- "Seriously??? $5/week??? Isn't that alot??? Who's going to do that?." But then I thought about it. If you reach your goal, you pay nothing. Talk about holding your feet to the fire. I'm already paying alot more than that to have my trainer hold me accountable twice a week (and her fee isn't refundable if I show up!). I had to really decide how committed I am to this. I finally decided it was worth it and I was going to try it. A refundable pledge donation to a worthy cause is a real steal for holding you accountable to lifesaving health goals.<br /><br />I've written before about how instrumental moms -- and really women in general -- are in the fight against cancer. I truly believe we have the <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2009/05/moms-can-cure-cancer.html">power to cure cancer</a>. Feeling great and having more energy is the short term benefit of taking care of ourselves. The longer term benefit is helping to prevent cancer. We could eliminate nearly half of all cancer deaths if we all committed to <a href="http://www.cancer.org/docroot/ped/ped_0.asp">doing the things we know work</a>. Now we have a way to do it and to hold ourselves accountable. And just think about how much less cancer and how many more birthdays we could create if we become great role models for our kids. Wouldn't it be great if they never knew what suffering from cancer looks and feels like???<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGRKUK5-GXN5XaZNRNWYGYNhuLB_-6yqIlS1IYREbtSHXQ5YGEWvJDXtKcOAcWAGpl2DGhBXFEeyKqzh0BiFg74wrGM8Nl522S_Zu5UwOv8tTzTXbQy2ds0azoDqepBpC018BH8zZ4znP6/s1600/IMG_4762.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGRKUK5-GXN5XaZNRNWYGYNhuLB_-6yqIlS1IYREbtSHXQ5YGEWvJDXtKcOAcWAGpl2DGhBXFEeyKqzh0BiFg74wrGM8Nl522S_Zu5UwOv8tTzTXbQy2ds0azoDqepBpC018BH8zZ4znP6/s320/IMG_4762.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5468172383456189554" border="0" /></a><br />I hope you'll make a commitment to <a href="http://www.chooseyou.com/">Choose You</a>. I'll be blogging about my Choose You commitments (to get a mammogram and be more active) over at the <a href="http://blog.chooseyou.com/">Choose You blog</a> along with <a href="http://www.mammaloves.com/">some</a> <a href="http://www.catherine-morgan.com/">other</a>, <a href="http://theartfulflower.blogspot.com/">fabulous</a> <a href="http://blog.darrylepollack.com/">bloggers</a>. (Can you believe I get to blog -- with other cool bloggers -- for work???) Come read our trials and tribulations and commiserate with us. We promise to cheer you on too!<br /></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-43176631266064278092010-05-03T17:11:00.005-04:002010-05-03T17:29:55.544-04:00Get Ready To Put Yourself on the List!!!I am writing from the plane that is taking me to NY (thank goodness we escaped the deluge that was coming down in Atlanta!) where I'll be meeting a famous TV star. Together we'll be launching a major new program designed to help women just like us -- you know, the ones who take care of everyone but themselves!<br /><br />I was so honored when my boss asked me to be spokesperson for this new program. It's a message that I'm so passionate about -- one that is very consistent with what I've been writing about here at Up With Moms for the last three years.<br /><br />Keep an eye on Good Morning America tomorrow morning where our celebrity Ambassador (and my future new best friend!) will be unveiling the program. And then follow @morebirthdays or join the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/aswygert?v=wall&story_fbid=123333344344433#!/createmorebirthdays?ref=ts">More Birthdays Facebook Fan page </a>for the link to the live Webcast of the event I'll be hosting in Times Square at 9:30 am where my celebrity-new-best-friend and I will be officially launching the program.<br /><br />I'll also be joining some blogosphere celebs -- Julie Pippert from <a href="http://theartfulflower.blogspot.com/">Using My Words</a>, Momocrats and The Motherhood, Amie Adams from Mamma Loves, Catherine Morgan from catherine-morgan.com and BlogHer, among others -- in a new blog where we'll be collectively blogging about our experiences with this new program. More details to come!<div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-32178197723328371422010-04-15T20:52:00.005-04:002010-04-16T07:25:32.519-04:00When Not Being There for Your Kid is a Good ThingYesterday morning I found myself in one of those typical working mom dilemmas. The Boss woke up with a sore throat.<br /><br />In my decade of being a working mom, I've been in this situation dozens, maybe hundreds of times. Normally it's not a big deal -- I can easily work from home. But yesterday happened to be one of those rare times I really needed to be in the office.<br /><br />Thanks to my decade-honed mommy super powers, I knew this sore throat was likely just a viral thing. There was no fever and although her tonsils looked swollen, I'd definitely seen worse. But I felt it best to at least get it checked out.<br /><br />"Boss, we'll go to the doctor this morning, but if you don't have strep, we'll get you some Tylenol and drop you off at school."<br /><br />Her little face fell. She had counted on staying home for the day. My inner mommy voice and the working mom guilt immediately kicked in: Look at her. She doesn't feel well. Her throat hurts. Maybe I should let her stay home. My poor baby!<br /><br />But then something else kicked in. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was the frustration of being caught in that situation for the gazillionth time. Maybe it was my inner professional voice screaming "But I really need to be at that meeting! You know she's perfectly fine...it's just a little cold!" Before I could stop myself, I turned around and these words flew out of my mouth,<br /><br />"Listen, Boss. You're not the only person in the universe. Other people have needs too. I have to work!'<br /><br />Oh, boy. Of course I instantly regretted it. I watched with trepidation as a wide-eyed Boss looked up at me. I waited for the eyes to well up. I waited for her to crumble.<br /><br />Instead, she said, "OK."<br /><br />"OK, what?" I asked, surprised at that response.<br /><br />"I understand," she said.<br /><br />"You understand what?"<br /><br />"I understand you have things to do at work. You can work," she said quietly.<br /><br />My heart broke into a million pieces. I was all at once proud and sad that my baby, now 7, wasn't so much a baby anymore. She understood. She was growing up and had just learned a valuable lesson about being sensitive to others needs. And about the fact that sometimes you just have to push through even if you don't feel quite 100%.<br /><br />Of course she didn't have strep. We stopped at the drug store on our way to school and got her some Tylenol and a great big chocolate bar. Even though professional Amy won out this time, mommy Amy just couldn't resist somehow indulging and rewarding her baby for being such a big girl.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-22977757780322468822010-01-11T07:10:00.009-05:002010-01-31T11:55:18.921-05:00ResolutionFunny thing about new years resolutions. Sometimes you keep them.<br /><br />Last year I vowed to <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2009/01/this-ones-gotta-stick.html">fix my life</a>. I had no choice. Things were bad -- WAY worse than I let on. I was overwhelmed and fell into an <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2008/10/angry.html">honest to god depression</a>. My family never knew which Amy they were going to get -- the one that held it together just long enough to handle things or the one that would blow at the slightest issue. Hubby was pulling away -- he just couldn't live in my dark world anymore. My marriage was hanging by a thread. And I was convinced that the only way to fix things was to throw my career out the window, which depressed me even more.<br /><br />So I took a deep breath at the end of 2008 and admitted that I needed help. Big time. I found a family therapist -- one that had experience working with women like me (i.e., women that insist they can do it all and wonder why they're so miserable.) And I actually went to see her.<br /><br />The therapist was fabulous. She helped me see that pairing down was essential. So was taking some time every day -- even if it was just 15 minutes -- to just sit and breathe. She encouraged me to find something -- <span style="font-style: italic;">anything</span> -- that would bring some fun and joy into my life. And she even suggested some <a href="http://www.lexapro.com/">mild medication</a> (ok, yes, I'm purposely breezing over this. Another post for another day).<br /><br />But the biggest value was the work she did with Hubby and I together. He started coming to my therapy sessions pretty early on -- he was all for it, ready to try anything. She helped him see that our family was a system and that we're all essential parts of it. She pointed out to him that just like he has a job that's important to him, I did too, and that it would take both of us to make the family system work. She helped him understand how I felt -- how being responsible for my job in addition to the majority of the child rearing while he only had to worry about his job and himself made me feel overwhelmed and extremely resentful. She taught us a better way to communicate with each other so we could have a rational conversation where we could actually hear each other instead of getting caught up in emotion and blame.<br /><br />I learned alot about Hubby during those sessions. I realized that his upbringing completely colored how he approached our family dynamic. He grew up with stay-at-home mom who did everything for him. He was used to letting "the mom" handle the family affairs. And while he was willing to "pitch in," he was completely clueless as to what actually needed to be done. He also is much more regimented than I had truly appreciated. Point him in one direction, and he can follow the program until the cows come home. But throw a monkey wrench into that path -- introduce a variation or a pot hole and he's lost. Our therapist finally laid it out for me during one session with just she and I,<br /><br />"Amy, I know he's a smart and successful man and that it seems rational to expect him to figure out how to raise your kids just like he figured out how to build his business. But that process was much more straightforward than raising your kids. He just will never be able to do what you want him to -- his brain doesn't work that way. The good news is that he seems truly willing to help, so you just have to accept that and tell him what you need."<br /><br />I put the therapist's advice into action -- instead of rushing off to work after the kids went to school, I took 30 interruption-free minutes each morning to eat breakfast, surf the Internet, or read. Just that alone helped me feel more relaxed and ready to face the day. I was relentless in turning down extra commitments -- need a mom to coordinate Girl Scout cookie sales? Not me! Looking for meals for a new mom neighbor? Sorry, can't do it. I even fought my boss on the extra assignment of leading a department fundraiser. It wasn't easy to say no to him -- I had to break down and come clean about what I was going through -- but I knew my life and my marriage depended on it.<br /><br />Hubby and I <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2007/08/divide-and-conquer.html">went back</a> to weekly "check-ins" on Sunday nights -- the purpose is not only to share and assign the things that needed to be done, but also to calibrate calendars so I could let him know about school activity/events that had to be covered. Hubby was assigned the task of initiating the check-ins and also coming up with more fun family things to do on the weekends.<br /><br />It hasn't all been perfect, but after almost a year on this program, I feel 110% better. Seriously. I'm a new woman. Life is easier. I can breathe. I feel supported. I can appreciate my life, my husband, my kids and even see what's really important to me, including maintaining my career.<br /><br />With my life fixed, I'm now focused on a new, more mundane resolution -- losing 10 pounds and exercising more. But I'm taking that one seriously too. I've hired a trainer. I'm determined to face my 40s being the best me that I can.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-33399518042890976122009-12-02T20:31:00.010-05:002009-12-02T23:06:49.015-05:00Just Couldn't Help MyselfI told myself I would never do this. I would never turn into one of those snarky bloggers that rails on PR people. I'm a PR person -- have been for 17 years. I get what it entails. I get that as a discipline, blogger outreach is still new and no one's really figured it out yet. With the kadrillion blogs out there, it's not always possible for pitches to be perfectly targeted and tailored. I get how mistakes can be made, misunderstanding can happen.<br /><br />But this one was different.<br /><br />It was from a guy and here's how it started:<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">"Howdy,<br /><br />Sorry to take your mind off White House party crashers or the infidelities of Tiger Woods.....but.....this might interest your readers as it’s targeted towards women 30 and older."</span><br /><br />Huh??? It went on to pitch me and my women readers over 30 (which he helpfully clarified as MOMS) on a video game put out by a band-who-shall-remain nameless who seems to ultimately be hawking an upcoming Christmas album.<br /><br />Maybe it was the frustration of getting the 10,000th holiday pitch that had nothing to do with my blog. Or maybe it was the <a href="http://www.oprah.com/package/oprahshow/oprahshow/pkgregistry/20090925-tows-registry-girls-women">Oprah episode</a> I watched yesterday about sexism around the world and atrocities against women. But this one just sent me over the edge.<br /><br />I don't know what happened. The response just seemed to write itself:<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Well, actually my mind's been on health care reform and the war in Afghanistan, but I can see how you would be confused. Us "MOMS" are usually consumed with celebrity affairs and reality star scandals which is what we think about while we're baking cupcakes and watching laundry detergent commercials.<br /><br />If you had read my blog, you'd know that while yes, some of my readers are women and might like games, I would have zero interest in writing about a video game because that's not what I write about (unless maybe it was about women waging war on the injustices of the world and taking out all of the stupid people.) My blog is about moms speaking up for themselves and that's what I'm doing right now. "MOMS," and women 30 and older in general, don't appreciate being stereotyped and condescended to (seriously? tabloid stories?). While I know that's not what you intended to do with your note, you did it all the same. And by the way, the only thing worse than listening to [nameless lame-ass 80's band] music is listening to [nameless lame-ass 80's band] CHRISTMAS music. Did I mention I was Jewish?<br /><br />So while we're playing inconsiderate and annoying stereotypes, let me return the favor by lumping you in with all of the clueless PR people who have no idea how to reach out to bloggers -- especially us "MOMS." Please read this article <span style="text-decoration: underline;">http://www.globalprblogweek.com/archives/the_pr_lessons_of_a_.php</span>. It might help you be better at your job.<br /><br /></span><div><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="mailto:Amy@UWM">Amy@UWM</a><br /><a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/">http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com</a></span></div> <span style="font-size:85%;"><br />P.S. I never wanted to become one of those snarky, rude bloggers that eat PR people for lunch, particularly since I'm a PR person in real life myself. But you pissed me off. So congratulations. You pushed me over to the dark side.</span><br /><br />Yes, I sent it. Too much?<div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-21713393051498633792009-11-24T07:12:00.004-05:002009-11-24T08:55:12.518-05:00I'm Selling OutI almost never accept promotional offers for my blog. It's not what my blog is about and its just not something I have the time or patience to deal with. That said, I don't do much to discourage them from coming either.<br /><br />As a blogger in the virtual world, but a PR person in the real world, it's been fascinating to get the pitches. Most pitches deserve the <a href="http://www.globalprblogweek.com/archives/the_pr_lessons_of_a_.php">criticism that bloggers heap on them</a>. But as a PR pro, I know that most of these outreach efforts are assigned to the younger PR professionals who have little to no real world or professional experience, much less empathy for us bloggers. It's nothing personal -- it's just the natural professional progression. The younger professionals do the tactical work, the more seasoned professionals do strategic planning. Most of us cut our teeth doing media relations, but would rather poke our eyes out with hot pokers than pitch anyone on anything once we become more experienced.<br /><br />But this particular pitch I got a few weeks ago caught my attention. It was brief and it was titled, "I love your blog!" Flattery, my friends, will get you everywhere. It went on to say, "I really enjoy reading your blog. I came across it through the Deep South Moms site and enjoyed it ever since." An honest to goodness reader! Immediately she's established some credibility by proving that she knows something about me and my affiliation with Deep South Moms -- clearly not a mass email. And she goes on to say, "I'm not a mom, but..." Honesty! How refreshing!<br /><br />Turns out photographer Tessa Swarthout was promoting her own photography business, L3 Photography, and she was offering me a complimentary photography session and picture package (<a href="http://www.ftc.gov/opa/2009/10/endortest.shtm">'kay, FTC? We good?</a>). She offered me <a href="http://www.l3photography.com/index2.php#/home/">a link to her work</a> and WOW! SO impressive! I figured, what did I have to lose? At worst, it would be a few hours on a weekend, but any time spent with my girls is time well-spent. If all went well, we'd have some spectacular photos to cherish and maybe I could strike one more thing off the ever-growing holiday to-do list if I got a nice family photo for our holiday cards out of the deal.<br /><br />Tessa came out to our house and immediately got to work. She was great with the kids, chatting with them about their favorite TV shows, their favorite music and their favorite movies. She let them take play breaks when they were clearly getting antsy. I was particularly impressed when she had the girls climb up into a wonderful tree in our front yard and then climbed up with them to take pictures of them from above. Hubby and I got into the act at one point and we took a few family photos that will undoubtedly make wonderful holiday cards. <br /><br />So even though I don't take promotional offers and I've been desperately trying to keep my family's identity anonymous to no avail, I'm so happy I took this particular opportunity. To remain true to my normal bloggy policies (that only exist in my head and make sense to me), I'm still not going to post any pictures of my family on this site. But I will share <a href="http://blog.l3photography.com/2009/11/another-beautiful-family/">this link</a>. Not saying it's my family, but I will say that IF my family were to do an awesome professional photography session with Tessa at L3 Photography, this is what the results MIGHT look like.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-71295745569693100942009-10-20T07:15:00.010-04:002009-10-20T21:50:48.291-04:00Sexist or Outdated?Several months ago, Hubby and I were enjoying a grown ups-only dinner at a wonderful Italian restaurant. It was a weeknight -- a night where we were able to extend our nanny's hours to cover this extravagance which was made possible by a gift card Hubby got from a work vendor -- so this normally-popular restaurant wasn't very crowded and was blessedly serene. As I savored my Chardonnay, I got philosophical, recalling a news story I had seen about a woman who was <a href="http://www.neatorama.com/2008/07/20/is-the-men-at-work-sign-sexist/">protesting sexist road signs</a>.<br /><br />"We live in a man's world," I mused. "Road signs are just one example. School schedules are geared toward assuming that there's a parent at home in the middle of the afternoon. At work, men and women are rewarded based on how much time they put in but who's supposed to take care of the kids? EVERYTHING is geared toward assuming that men are still the workers. Meanwhile, 70% of moms are in the workforce. It's sexist!"<br /><br />"Is it sexist or outdated?" Hubby thoughtfully asked. Hmm. Great question. I admitted that it could very well be the latter.<br /><br />Now a <a href="http://www.americanprogress.org/issues/2009/10/womans_nation.html/#executive_summary">new report by Maria Shriver and the Center for American Progress, </a>The Shriver Report: A Woman's Nation Changes Everything, takes a "deep dive" into this very issue. While women's roles have changed dramatically in the last few decades, society-at-large has barely changed to accommodate how dual-income families, or even families with stay-at-home dads, live today. Now that women are quickly encompassing half of our country's workforce, the great unknown is if our nation will finally pay attention to and address the needs of the modern American family like comprehensive childcare, flexible work, health care reform and paid time off.<br /><br />I applaud Maria Shriver and NBC for bringing all of the issues I've been <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2008/10/angry.html">struggling with ever since I became a working mom</a> to light. These are the issues that have been a drain on my marriage as Hubby and I have tried to <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2007/08/divide-and-conquer.html">negotiate</a> and <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2008/02/honey-youre-fired.html">renegotiate</a> parental and household roles and responsibilities over the years. And these are the very issues that <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2007/02/up-with-moms.html">spurred this blog</a>. Society at large does NOT accommodate women's move to the workforce, the "<a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32378536/vp/33395770#33387702">seismic shift in gender roles</a>" (as NBC's Brian Williams puts it) that has resulted and the reality of the modern American family. I just hope it becomes more than just some good television for a week. I pray that this report and the fact that women now make up 50% of the American workforce have an effect on our country's psyche and that it sparks some real change in support of our families.<br /><br />Unfortunately, it's going to be up to women themselves, arguably the busiest people on earth, to step up and speak up and keep these issues at the forefront, as Maria Shriver suggests in her recent Time magazine editorial aptly titled, <a href="http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1930277_1930142,00.html">The Unfinished Revolution</a>. An unfinished revolution indeed. Organizations like Momsrising.org have been at the forefront of continuing the revolution, building grassroots support and movement on these issues. And while I'm glad that Maria Shriver is using her public platform to shine a light on the issues at hand, I couldn't help but wonder where <a href="http://www.momsrising.org/">Momsrising</a> was in this conversation and why they have not even commented on this series.<br /><br />I started this blog pissed at <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2007/02/im-down-with-gloria-steinem.html">Gloria Steinem</a> because it was she and her cohorts that created more choices for women. To me, it seemed like an ill-conceived plan given that they didn't address how women's entrance into the workplace might affect the family dynamics. But as Ms. Steinem has said herself, women will never be equal until men share equally in the family responsibilities. And, I'd add, until government and business make some serious adjustments. It's clear that even after all of the progress we've made as women, there's still alot of work yet to be done.<br /><br /><div><iframe src="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/33378119#33378119" frameborder="0" height="339" scrolling="no" width="425"></iframe><p style="background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 0%; font-size: 11px; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; color: rgb(153, 153, 153); margin-top: 5px; -moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-origin: padding; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; text-align: center; width: 425px;">Visit msnbc.com for <a style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(153, 153, 153) ! important; text-decoration: none ! important; font-weight: normal ! important; height: 13px; color: rgb(87, 153, 219) ! important;" href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/">Breaking News</a>, <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032507" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(153, 153, 153) ! important; text-decoration: none ! important; font-weight: normal ! important; height: 13px; color: rgb(87, 153, 219) ! important;">World News</a>, and <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032072" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(153, 153, 153) ! important; text-decoration: none ! important; font-weight: normal ! important; height: 13px; color: rgb(87, 153, 219) ! important;">News about the Economy</a></p></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-91769646218223580172009-10-19T18:09:00.000-04:002009-10-19T18:09:35.873-04:00See, I Told YouFrom <a href="http://www.californiawomen.org/blog/">The Women's Conference - Motivation, Empowerment, Leadership - Blog</a>: "As we move into this phase we’re calling A Woman’s Nation, women can turn their pivotal role as wage-earners, as consumers, as bosses, as opinion-shapers, as co-equal partners in whatever we do into a potent force for change."<br /><br />If you haven't yet, go read Time Magazine's latest report, <a href="http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1930277_1930145,00.html?imw=Y">The State of the American Woman</a>, which includes a great editorial from <a href="http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1930277_1930142_1930297,00.html">Maria Shriver: The Unfinished Revolution</a>. This story was spurred by a new report from Maria Shriver and the <a href="http://www.americanprogress.org/">Center for American Progress </a>intriguingly titled <a href="http://www.americanprogress.org/issues/2009/10/womans_nation.html">The Shriver Report: A Women's Nation Changes Everything </a>-- a fascinating look at how the Women's Revolution changed women but didn't necessarily change society enough to accommodate those choices.<br /><br />See, I told you <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2009/05/moms-can-cure-cancer.html">women can change the world</a> (ok, maybe I said moms, but same difference). If only we weren't too busy doing everything else.<br /><br />More later. <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2009/06/how-id-change-world-if-i-wasnt-too-busy.html">Too busy changing the world</a>...<div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-30031366026539445852009-09-30T20:59:00.004-04:002009-09-30T21:27:03.989-04:00Bloggers for More Birthdays<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://officialbirthdayblog.com/category/bloggers/"><img src="http://officialbirthdayblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/MoreBirthdays_blogbadge.png" width="125" height="125" /></a><br /></div><br />I've written before how I believe that <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2009/05/moms-can-cure-cancer.html">moms can cure cancer</a>. I absolutely believe they can. Now so can bloggers. And not just mom bloggers -- bloggers of all stripes. If you have a blog, you too can cure cancer.<br /><br />As we now know, blogs and microblogs can be a powerful platforms. Lives have been saved and great causes have been supported through the words and wisdom shared on blogs. Now the American Cancer Society and its brand new <a href="http://www.cancer.org/docroot/MED/content/MED_2_1x_American_Cancer_Society_Forms_Blogger_Advisory_Council_to_Take_Cancer_Fight_to_the_Virtual_World.asp?sitearea=MED">Blogger Advisory Council</a> are hoping to ignite an ongoing conversation about cancer in the blogosphere through a new initiative called "<a href="http://officialbirthdayblog.com/2009/09/bloggers-for-more-birthdays/">Bloggers for More Birthdays</a>." People need to know more about what they can do in the cancer fight. Information and inspiration must be shared so lives can be saved.<br /><br />"Bloggers for More Birthdays" is kicking off the effort by asking everyone to simply dedicate posts to those we love who have been affected by cancer. Sharing these stories will remind us why the fight against cancer is so important and inspire us to take an active role in the <a href="http://www.morebirthdays.com/morebirthdays/">movement for more birthdays</a>.<br /><br />So if you love blogging, but hate cancer, I hope you'll grab a badge and add your voice to the cause. It's a great way to get <a href="http://officialbirthdayblog.com/category/bloggers/">visibility for your blog</a> and it'll help create a world where cancer never steals another year from anyone's life.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-44364086916003454512009-09-19T09:22:00.003-04:002009-09-19T09:36:44.349-04:00Hell to the Yeah!!!Check out this video about men and housework. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Great</span> point made by <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-kimmel">Dr. Michael Kimmel</a>, author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Guyland-Perilous-World-Where-Become/dp/0060831359/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253367295&sr=8-1">Guyland</a> and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Manhood-America-Cultural-Michael-Kimmel/dp/0195181131/ref=pd_sim_b_1">Manhood in America</a>.<br /><br /><object height="364" width="445"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XlT7Od_7j4Y&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&border=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XlT7Od_7j4Y&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="364" width="445"></embed></object><br /><br />Many thanks to Dana Glazer for sharing this clip over at <a href="http://www.momsrising.org/blog/the-real-truth-about-men-and-housework/comment-page-1/#comment-13460">Momsrising.org</a>. It's part of his upcoming documentary, "The Evolution of Dad" due out Fathers Day 2010. Can't wait to see the rest of it!<div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-20420284409497408692009-08-31T19:21:00.002-04:002009-08-31T19:29:13.550-04:00We're Running a Re-RunToday <a href="http://svmomblog.typepad.com/silicon_valley_moms_blog/">SV Moms</a> and all of its sister sites are hosting a special birthday bash in honor of the American Cancer Society's <a href="http://www.morebirthdays.com">campaign for more birthdays</a>. This is a campaign I've had the honor to work on and as a cancer survivor, it has great personal meaning for me.<br /><br />Since SV Moms seems to be driving some traffic to this site (and if you're here from SV Moms, hey, there! Welcome!), I thought I'd redirect you to some more insight into the campaign and what it's all about.<br /><br />I do believe that if we put our minds to it, <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2009/05/moms-can-cure-cancer.html">Moms can Cure Cancer</a>. Go read <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2009/05/moms-can-cure-cancer.html">this post</a> and maybe you'll end up believing it too. And if you believe it, <a href="http://www.morebirthdays.com">click here to join the movement for more birthdays</a> and help create a world with less cancer and more birthdays for everyone.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-63736618654126839772009-08-31T07:12:00.011-04:002009-08-31T07:37:40.756-04:00Yey, Nanny Part DeuxThe other night when <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2008/05/whats-in-name.html">Angel</a>, my messy 9 year old, got out of the shower, she found a mysterious note on her bed. It was addressed to ANGEEEL, Room Hit by Toricane (Tornado & Hurricane), 2nd Flor, suite 55555.54, Atlanta, GA 55555. The return address said, "Fishy, DaMoon & Friends" (the names of stuffed animal friends that live in Angel's room.)<br /><br />Here's what it said inside:<br /><br />DEARE ANGELLE,<br /><br />Hi, um...I wuz wondering if you mit clean up your rumm. I invited sum friends ovr on Saturdey and Frankly, I'm emabarrazzed ABOUT the stuff <strike>on</strike> alL ovr the Flor. Plz. excuze my spelling...I got separated from my school of FISH. Clean up yur ACT or Elz!<br /><br />Signed,<br />Fishy (signified with a drawing of a fish)<br /><br /><a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2009/01/yey-nanny.html">Best</a>. <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/2009/05/i-love-my-wife.html">Nanny</a>. <a href="http://www.deepsouthmoms.com/2009/05/the-nanny-stigma-draft.html">Ever</a>.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044450866594084691.post-36122328700145610452009-08-19T19:25:00.005-04:002009-08-20T06:53:23.895-04:00The Truth About Health CareThis week, Moms across the blogosphere are firing up their keyboards and speaking out about our country's #1 issue -- health care.<br /><br />I wrote <a href="http://www.deepsouthmoms.com/2009/08/topic-day-we-already-pay-too-high-a-price-for-health-care-draft.html">my own post</a> about it on Deep South Moms for the <a href="http://www.svmoms.com/2009/08/virtual-town-meeting-mom-bloggers-on-health-care-silicon-valley-moms-group-topic-days-august-1819-20.html">SV Moms Virtual Town Hall</a> on Health Care. And the <a href="http://www.momsrising.org/blog/its-a-bird-its-a-plane-its-mom-in-capes-momsrising-busts-healthcare-myths/">Momsrising Truth Squad</a> is busting out its myth-busting super powers, urging us to spread the word about the top 5 Myths & Truths about Health care Reform. Here's their 411.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MOTHERS KNOW BEST-MYTHS & FACTS ABOUT HEALTH CARE REFORM</span><br /><br />MYTH #1: Health care reform will create rationing of health care?<br /><br />THE TRUTH ON #1: Just the opposite! Health care reform will end many practices that insurance companies currently use to ration health care, including: discrimination for pre-existing conditions, canceling coverage when you get sick, gender discrimination, and lifetime and yearly limits on coverage.<br /><br />Health care reform will expand access to high-quality health insurance, and give individuals, families, and businesses more choices for coverage.<br /><br />MYTH # 2: Health care reform will create "death panels"?<br /><br />THE TRUTH ON #2: These accusations of "death panels" and forced euthanasia are completely untrue. What's the real story? Reform legislation would allow Medicare to pay doctors to counsel patients about end-of-life issues, including preparing a living will. This is supported by AARP and is completely voluntary.<br /><br />MYTH #3: Health care reform is just a government takeover of our health care system?<br /><br />THE TRUTH ON #3: Under health care reform, choices for health care coverage will increase, not decrease, and the private market will still be the backbone of our health care system. Health reform will create a health insurance exchange, a one-stop shopping marketplace for affordable, high-quality insurance options. Private health insurers will be able to participate in these exchanges if they meet certain basic standards of coverage and could operate outside of the exchange if they choose to. A public option, like Medicare, would be just one available option in the insurance exchange.<br /><br />MYTH #4: Health care reform will cut senior citizens' Medicare benefits?<br /><br />THE TRUTH ON #4: Health care reform plans will not reduce Medicare benefits. In fact, health care reform will benefit seniors in many ways, including creating a pathway for the approval of generic biologic drugs, and strengthening preventive care under Medicare. Reform includes savings from Medicare that are unrelated to patient care—in fact, the savings comes from cutting billions of dollars in overpayments to insurance companies and eliminating waste, fraud, and abuse.<br /><br />MYTH #5: Health care reform is too expensive and will hurt our economy?<br /><br />THE TRUTH ON #5: Fixing our health care system will strengthen the economy by keeping more Americans healthy and by making coverage more affordable for families and businesses.<br /><br />Right now, we spend more than $2 trillion dollars a year on health care. The average family premium is projected to rise to over $22,000 in the next decade—and each year, nearly a million people face bankruptcy because of medical expenses. Small businesses are struggling to compete because they cannot find affordable health insurance for their employees.<br /><br />I thank Momsrising for helping to crystalize the issues and correct the misinformation that is being spread. The administration has also created its own <a href="http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/settingtherecord">Web site</a> to set the record straight on health care reform.<br /><br />All of this misinformation has clearly stirred up a whole lot of crazy all across our country and with all the technology available today, we get to witness it all first-hand. Watch this clip of crazy:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/nYlZiWK2Iy8&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/nYlZiWK2Iy8&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Obama as Hitler? Disagree with the policies, the details of the plan, but get a grip people. The man just wants to help you out.<br /><br />Whether you are for health care reform or against it, as arguably the biggest consumers of the health care system, Moms need to 1) <a href="http://www.momsrising.org/HealthcareTruthSquad_Resources">educate themselves about the issues</a> -- the real issues, not the skewed ones and then 2) speak out. We can't afford to let this opportunity to go by.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Cross-posted from <a href="http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com">Up With Moms</a></div>Amy@UWMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054650357827695777noreply@blogger.com1