Go Read This

Whew! What a party we had over here at Up With Moms with the Ultimate Blog Party with 5 Minutes for Mom!!! So many satisfied moms. So happy to have all kinds of new visitors here. I promise I WILL visit everyone who visited me. Eventually.

For all of my new visitors/subscribers, one thing we strive for here at Up With Moms is balance. And in the spirit of balance, our philosophy is, why expend precious brain cells writing original content when there's so many awesome things to pilfer point to on the 'Net?

So here are a few posts that sum up the current state of work/life balance. First read this Washington Post article about how work/life programs are among the first to fly out the window during a down economy. Then read this post on Momsrising.org on why businesses that take that approach are stupid cutting off its proverbial nose to spite its face. Then read this beautifully moving post from Queen of Spain that typifies the ongoing war between our hearts and our souls -- a working mom's impossible pull between her kids and a fulfilling job (just hate people who can work all those hours, be a mom and STILL write like this). Enjoy!

Go Read This

The Ultimate Virtual Party for Moms

Hey, there! Welcome to the Ultimate Virtual Party for Moms, just one of the many fine soirees made possible by 5 Minutes for Mom Ultimate Blog Party 2009! I'm Amy, your host!

Here at Up With Moms, we are all about being mommy advocates to create a world filled with peace and sanity for us moms. So today we are hosting the Ultimate Virtual Party created just for moms!

First, to set your mind immediately at ease, NO need to worry about childcare. Off in an adjacent, sound-proof room, we're throwing The Ultimate Virtual Kids Party, hosted by the best, most well-trained babysitters. These girls are sweet, LOVE kids of all ages and have TONS of fun and exciting (and educational!) stuff planned for your kids. The room is filled with squeaky clean, non-toxic toys and has access to a fenced-in outdoor play area. Trust me, this is nirvana for your kids and they will forget you exist.

Next, we've got something special planned for your husbands -- a seminar titled "Get More Sex." This will be a mix of sports highlights, porn clips and a brief lecture on how to get more sex by helping your wife more with the kids and around the house. Oh, and there will be beer. And chips. Men are simple. 'Nuff said.

But for you, my friends, no expense will be spared. This party is all about YOU!!!! In the spa room, you can de-stress with a massage, facial or you can melt right into one of those big, comfy spa chairs and enjoy a relaxing mani/pedi. In another room, we have all of the mom-friendly designers showing their latest fashions -- shoes, dresses, sweaters and blouses -- all for 50%, 75%, 95% off FREE! In the next room, we've got Movies on Demand where you can sit in a wonderful leather recliner, watch your favorite movie and NO ONE WILL TALK TO YOU. For two whole hours. At a time. Except for a server who you can summon with the touch of a button who will bring your drinks and food.

And in yet another room, we've invited some special guests -- a mix of business leaders and lawmakers so we can share what's on our collective minds about balancing work and family. While 70% of moms work nowadays, we all know that the workplace has not quite adapted to allow today's parents to adequately care for our families. We need to let these leaders know that we need more progressive policies to make both work and family work for us and for our country which lags behind so many others on paid family leave, flexible work policies and paid time off. Oh, and don't worry. We'll serve you some liquid confidence before you walk into this room so you'll feel free to really say what's on your mind.

So, party on, ladies, I hope you enjoy yourselves. You deserve it. I can't say that we always party this way here at Up With Moms. But we're working toward a world that will feel a little bit more like this party and less like the insanity we endure every day. I hope you'll join me.

The Ultimate Virtual Party for Moms

Lies We Tell Our Children

I'm so pissed at the tooth fairy. That wench* completely blew us off this week. Twice.

The Boss lost her second tooth. She was SO excited. She could not WAIT for the tooth fairy to come. We talked all about whether the tooth fairy would let her keep her tooth or not because she wanted to show it to her friends. We finally decided to just let the tooth fairy take the tooth. Tooth fairy protocol, after all.

And then the wench didn't show. No dollar, no nothing. Have you ever seen a 6 yo face forgotten by the tooth fairy? It is a very, very sad face.

And then Nanny figured it out. The Boss must have forgotten to ASK the tooth fairy to come. Oh, man! How could we forget that? So the Boss wrote a note on her dry erase board to remind herself to ASK the tooth fairy to come. And THIS time, the Boss remembered to ask before bed.

But the next morning, AGAIN, nothing but a SUPER sad 6 yo face. So being the fast thinking super mommy that I am, I ran downstairs when the Boss wasn't looking, grabbed a dollar from my wallet and while the Boss was in the bathroom brushing what's left of her teeth, I grabbed the lost tooth which had thankfully fallen under the bed -- the Boss hadn't yet seen it was still there -- and threw the dollar there instead.

"Boss!!!" I cried, "Come see what I found!!!" I showed her the dollar under the bed ("It must have fallen there while you were sleeping!") and the super sad face turned into a super relieved and happy face.

I TOTALLY saved the wench's ass. But damn that freaking* tooth fairy!

* I could use stronger language here, but I just can't bring myself to curse out the tooth fairy. Especially when he's had alot on his mind at work this week.

Lies We Tell Our Children

It's My Party and I'll Eat Crappy Fast Food if I Want to

Tomorrow's my birthday. I'm going to be not-forty.

Generally, I'm not big on birthdays (although given my health history, I should be) and overall, it'll probably be an average day -- the normal craziness getting out of the house in the morning, a whirlwind day at work. And it might be punctuated by some birthday wishes and some nice birthday cards from the fam and my coworkers.

But what I really look forward to ALL YEAR is my traditional birthday meal.

This tradition began with my 30th birthday. Hubby, being the well-meaning and loving Hubby he is, booked us a hotel room, fancy dinner reservations and arranged for my MIL to come look after our brand new 4 month old daughter. But still being in the sleep-deprived, what-the-hell- just-happened-to-me, still-too-fat-to-fit-into-my-normal-clothes phase, I realized that if I was truly honest with myself, I really didn't want to have to stress about what to wear, do the fancy restaurant thing or sleep away from home. What I really wanted was a low-key evening and an early night to bed. So after confessing to Hubby my true feelings, we went to a sushi restaurant and went straight home and watched TV in bed. I was quite happy.

But the next year, I decided to really search my heart of hearts to figure out what I really, really deep down in the bottom of my soul wanted for my birthday dinner.

I decided that my soul needs a Whopper, large order of fries and a chocolate milkshake. Every year.

I can't wait to eat all that salty, fried and chocolatey goodness. I can almost feel the greasy film on the roof of my mouth now.

See, ladies, it's all about knowing exactly what you want in life and going right for it. If only the rest of my life were that easy to figure out.

It's My Party and I'll Eat Crappy Fast Food if I Want to

A Day in My Life

6 am -- Wake up to blaring alarm, change into workout clothes

6:15 -- Wake the Boss, help her get dressed (long for spring when tights will no longer be de rigueur and 6 yo can dress herself.)

6:30 -- Sign Angel's homework planner, referee sisterly fights, negotiate and create two hairdos, hunt down missing jacket, plead with children to finish breakfast

7:00 -- Kiss girls goodbye, mindlessly pick up Blackberry

7:15 -- Realize I've wasted half my workout time getting sucked into work email and ditch plan to workout in favor of tidying up house in preparation for cleaning crew (crew will only clean surfaces they can find) and for getting dressed to get to work earlier. Discover and clean up lovely package left by either dog or cat in home office.

8:00 -- Get dressed. Choose something equally work- and Brownie-appropriate (with quick change of shoes).

8:45 -- Pack up car with supplies for afternoon Brownie meeting -- snacks, drinks, balloons, bean bag toss, hula hoops, jump ropes, Skechers...check!

9:00 -- Halfway to work, turn around and head back home. Remembered all the Brownie stuff but forgot the #$#%! work briefcase and laptop. There goes earlier work arrival!

9:30 -- Arrive at work. Get sucked into a vortex of non-stop meetings and on-the-fly conversations with colleagues. Breakfast is dry cereal straight out of box. Try to sneak eating lunch during major presentation (where I'm presenter).

2:10 -- Apologetically slink out of major presentation before it is over to head to Brownie meeting. Try to mentally make the shift from career cancer-fighter to Brownie meeting leader on the way. Mentally compose this blog post instead.

2:45 -- Arrive at Brownie meeting. Strip off high heel boots and throw on Skechers. Unload car.

2:50 -- Feed 13 antsy 9 year olds. Wrangle them into lesson about why Sports and Games are important to provide context and meaning to the next 45 minutes of meaningless fun and frivolity. Orchestrate various relay races and games. Get thumbs up from Angel. Goal was to avoid embarrassing her so consider meeting BIG success.

3:50 -- Clean up Brownie site, grab Angel and her best friend. Drop best friend off at her house. Drop Angel off at ours. Take quick bathroom break, quickly check work email on Blackberry and head back out.

4:30 -- Meet with therapist to figure out how to avoid going crazy. Any suggestions?

6:00 -- Arrive back home. Check work emails again. Get download from Nanny and kids on homefront happenings. Negotiate after-dinner snacks with the Boss. Referee more sisterly sniping. Scarf down dinner.

7:45 -- Orchestrate toy clean up. Threaten the Boss within an inch of her life for launching into the "I don't wanna clean up! I don't wanna go to bed!" routine. Not having it tonight.

8:00 -- Start bedtime routine including daily reminder to Angel to brush AND floss teeth. Read Boss bedtime story. Negotiate 8:30 lights out time with Angel, leave her reading in bed.

8:15 -- Download with Hubby on homefront happenings and to-dos for remainder of the week.

8:30 -- Fire up Twitter and begin composing blog post. Has it been 3 weeks since the last one?

9:30 -- Watch DVR'd Lost with Hubby.

10:30 -- Collapse and start all over again in the morning.

A Day in My Life

It's Up to Us

It continues to strike me that the only way things are ever going to get better for us moms (work-life balance, paid maternity leave, affordable childcare, etc.), and for families in general, is if we take matters into our own hands. Rather than write a whole new post about this, I thought I'd point you to a very old one I wrote more than a year ago.

Go read this. And then while you're at it, you might as well read this. And then make sure you sign up for your email alerts from momsrising.org or the National Organization for Women, 9 to 5 or some other fabulous organization.

I know it's crazy to ask the busiest people on the planet to put "Change the World" on their never-ending to-do list. But someone's got to do it. And, as usual, it's going to have to be us.

It's Up to Us