The Bright Side of Lice

Under the category of THIS CAN NOT BE HAPPENING, we discovered lice on DD#1 last night. Again. I wish I was dead kidding.

You'll have to forgive me for getting a bit punny with my lice posts, but my brain is thisclose to retreating to a very dark place. After nearly hurling something at my husband's head (who had the nerve to say to me, "There's nothing to get upset about. Just roll with it!") and bitching out the school nurse (who had the nerve to say to me, "I have a lot of other things to do. I can't check every kid in the school."), I finally got a grip and realized there were some upsides to having lice:

Upside #1: We are no longer completely grossed out by the actual lice bugs we pull from DD#1's head. DD#1 observed today that their little legs are "cute" and even felt a little sorry for them ("You should be an OUTSIDE bug like all the other bugs," she sagely advised one captured louse.)

Upside#2: We had quite the educational experience as we picked nits during the 8-hour Hannah Montana mega marathon with Disney Channel's "HSM2: Around the World" music videos of HSM 2 songs in multiple languages (because hearing them in English isn't quite enough). Too bad my kids were stuck with me as their teacher (Do you know what language they speak in Brazil?).

Upside#3: Extended quality time inevitably prompts meaningful conversation. We actually talked about drugs and peer pressure. And how Jake Ryan really isn't cute, but Jesse Mccarthy is. Not sure which discussion was more important.

Upside#4: There is no better excuse to eat chocolate all day and fast food for dinner. I'm still tasting the greasy film on the roof of my mouth. YUM!!!

Upside#5: Nothing gets me a no-questions-asked free pass from work quicker than lice (except maybe "women's problems.")

And the worthless school nurse pointed us to the latest lice scam miracle she claims all the moms swear by. Of course I ordered it. I need a miracle. BADLY.

The Bright Side of Lice

Lice Fest 2007 is in Atlanta!!!

I am sitting here wearing a shower cap, my head slathered in mayonnaise. My two precious angels are donning the same chic look. We are planning a very long date with the Disney Channel later so I can pick through their heads like a mama gorilla. That's after I spent hours and hours and hours washing and bagging everything not nailed down. AGAIN. FOR THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH!!!!

Yes, folks, Lice Fest 2007 seems to have made its way to our house. This time my baby (uh, I mean BIG GIRL) seems to be the Lice Fest Queen. But we've all joined the party, because it's just WAY too much fun to miss.

If you don't know what Lice Fest is, it's the party you never, ever want to be invited to. It comes to you, unsolicited, and it NEVER WANTS TO LEAVE!!!!!

In the spirit of balance (which is what this blog is SUPPOSED to be about -- No, this ISN'T the Lice blog), this will be a short post from me. Instead, if you've ever been to Lice Fest, or just plain need a laugh, here are a couple of posts that'll brighten your day. Read about Lice Fest 2004 from Melissa over at my new favorite blog Suburban Bliss. In her wonderfully witty writing style, she so cleverly describes my life right now (how did she know?). Or get a Dad's perspective at Death By Children where Christopher, another great writer, discovers why God really invented mayonnaise in his post Lice, Lice, Lice, Baby!.

And if you have any, and I mean ANY, advice on how to get this party to move on, please, please, PLEASE (do I sound desperate enough?), share.

Lice Fest 2007 is in Atlanta!!!

The Game of Lice

Jill over at Writes Like She Talks asked me a very important and profound question a few weeks ago -- what is the conventional wisdom on why God invented lice?

I've been pondering this very question these past two weeks as we've waged our third battle against these relentless vermin this summer. The only purpose for lice that I can think of is that it teaches us a lesson that is as important and profound as Jill's question itself. Things can always get worse.

I've had alot of time to ponder many things as I've spent hours on end sifting through my daughter's thick curly locks, picking nits off her head. Aside from lamenting the missed Rosh Hashanah services and play dates as a result of this undeserved plague and wondering how my daughter might look bald (she has a pretty face!), I've mostly been asking myself why I've been so utterly unprepared for motherhood.

I always feel like I missed a course in high school or college or something. Other than my own parents' experience (and who actually pays attention to them?), the only thing that gave me a glimpse into the "real" world while I was growing up was Habro's "The Game of Life." Remember that game? The one where you sent your car along the road of life and along the way you got a job, got married, had kids, bought insurance and stocks? Sometimes you even defaulted on loans, lost out on the stock market or got hit by a hurricane. I just loved that game!

But thinking back on it, maybe that game was a bit superficial. If I was revamping it today, I'd add a few more "real" life experiences. Like, "Your daughter has lice. Loose two turns as you delouse your children and your house." Or, "Your daughter wants dance lessons. Pay $200 dollars for the lessons and $200 more for ballet shoes and recital costumes." Or, "Oops! Your baby spit up on your expensive wool suit. Pay $100 in dry cleaning!" Then maybe kids would grow up a bit more prepared for the real world.

Here's a fun game...what "real" life experiences would you add to "The Game of Life?"

The Game of Lice