It's My Party and I'll Eat Crappy Fast Food if I Want to

Tomorrow's my birthday. I'm going to be not-forty.

Generally, I'm not big on birthdays (although given my health history, I should be) and overall, it'll probably be an average day -- the normal craziness getting out of the house in the morning, a whirlwind day at work. And it might be punctuated by some birthday wishes and some nice birthday cards from the fam and my coworkers.

But what I really look forward to ALL YEAR is my traditional birthday meal.

This tradition began with my 30th birthday. Hubby, being the well-meaning and loving Hubby he is, booked us a hotel room, fancy dinner reservations and arranged for my MIL to come look after our brand new 4 month old daughter. But still being in the sleep-deprived, what-the-hell- just-happened-to-me, still-too-fat-to-fit-into-my-normal-clothes phase, I realized that if I was truly honest with myself, I really didn't want to have to stress about what to wear, do the fancy restaurant thing or sleep away from home. What I really wanted was a low-key evening and an early night to bed. So after confessing to Hubby my true feelings, we went to a sushi restaurant and went straight home and watched TV in bed. I was quite happy.

But the next year, I decided to really search my heart of hearts to figure out what I really, really deep down in the bottom of my soul wanted for my birthday dinner.

I decided that my soul needs a Whopper, large order of fries and a chocolate milkshake. Every year.

I can't wait to eat all that salty, fried and chocolatey goodness. I can almost feel the greasy film on the roof of my mouth now.

See, ladies, it's all about knowing exactly what you want in life and going right for it. If only the rest of my life were that easy to figure out.

It's My Party and I'll Eat Crappy Fast Food if I Want to

Twittering? Really???

"With Twitter, you can stay hyper–connected to your friends and always know what they’re doing...Twitter puts you in control and becomes a modern antidote to information overload."

-- from the Twitter Web site

OK. I checked it out and I still don't get the whole Twittering thing. I love my friends, I do. But do I really need to be "hyper-connected" to them? Do I need to know where they are every second or what they're thinking? How is this the "antidote to information overload?"

I KNOW nobody wants to be in my head. TMI.

Just sayin'.

Twittering? Really???

Housebound and Loving It

For the past two weekends, we've been stuck in the house and had to cancel dinner with friends due to various plagues that have beset our house. And I've been as happy as a pig in mud (sadly, that is a commentary on the state of my house right now).

Don't get me wrong. I was disappointed to miss out on drinking wine, eating fabulous food, enjoying adult conversation and laughter with great friends. But at the same time, I was extremely relieved to not have to channel my inner Martha Stewart (of course, we always have fresh flowers throughout the house...I grew them myself...) and frantically clean my house, ordering my children not to breathe much less look at their toys so that the house stayed tidy until our guests arrived.

I've always been a homebody, but my husband is much more social. He loves to entertain, whipping up the latest Bobby Flay creation on his Big Green Egg, drinking expensive beer (he admits it's the beer drinking he mostly enjoys) and gabbing with his buddies while the women commiserate about the latest exploits of our children and the trials and tribulations of motherhood. And I enjoy it too. But every weekend when he asks "What's on the agenda? Who can we invite over?" I cringe. I pretend he didn't ask the question ("Look, something shiny!") And then when that doesn't work, I hmm and haw ("I don't know...") until it finally becomes a sore spot and he accuses me of being anti-social. And for a while, I was willing to accept that, ok, maybe I am anti-social.

But I finally realized, and calmly explained to my husband yesterday, that after the ridiculous rush of the week, where every day is jam-packed with endless tasks, rushing to get here, there and everywhere and dealing with unreasonable people (both big and small) that 48 hours of nothing planned is heaven. I can NOT clean, NOT shower, NOT put on makeup, NOT wake up at the crack of dawn and actually do some things that I enjoy like read a book, play a board game with my kids or catch up on my blogging. Or I can do things that help me get a jump start on the next week, like laundry or researching birthday parties for the kids.

Come spring, we'll have soccer games and other weekend activities that will get me moving on a Saturday, making it easier for me to get in the groove to entertain again. But while we have these activity-free weekends, especially when it's too cold to go anywhere anyway, I'd rather make like a bear and hibernate. Is that so wrong?

That's probably why I'm so hooked on this blogging thing. I can visit with intelligent and entertaining people without having to clean or shower.

Housebound and Loving It

A Simple (but not so easy) Resolution

This year I've set my sights on a single, yet profound new years resolution.

In 2008, I, Amy S., resolve to enjoy my life more.

Yes, that's right. I'm determined to enjoy my kids, my husband, my friends, my family, my professional life and life in general alot more than I do now. Problem is, I'm not quite sure how to go about this.

This idea came to me one hectic afternoon as I juggled a conference call for work while trying to keep my kids satisfied and occupied at home. My eight year old was blathering about something I couldn't quite keep up with, my four year old was "bored" and wanted me to help her figure out something "ta-do!" and the work call droned on and on as I prayed no one would ask me a question.

And it hit me -- what am I doing? What value am I adding to this chaos? And more importantly, what am I getting out of any of this?

My husband is the model for how one should live life. He has a great job that he loves. When he's at work, he's fully engaged, there 100% for his clients. But when he's home, he's on a mission to wind down and relax. He reads the newspaper, he veges out in front of the TV, he plays video games (he's enthralling our daughters with his latest Super Mario Wii game as I write this). He plans activities, outings and vacations -- an occasional concert or ball game, dinner with friends, a golf trip with the guys or a family trip to Disney (yes, I'm invited to most of these things). He has no qualms spending money on the things he enjoys and outsourcing the things he doesn't. He thinks about his pleasure activities almost as much as he thinks about work and, aside from an occasional golf outing with a client, he rarely mixes the two. He told me the other day that he couldn't be more content with his life.

The thing is, I'm not completely miserable. On paper, my life is great. But that moment that afternoon defined how I've been feeling this year -- on autopilot desperately trying to keep up. And while I don't hate my life, I'm not particularly enjoying it either. It could be a simple matter of allowing myself some activities I do enjoy -- an afternoon shopping at the mall, some quiet time to read a book, maybe even some time set aside to keep up with this blog. Or it could mean some more profound changes like paring down on work to be more present for the kids, connecting more with friends, or finding another kind of work that lights my fire more than what I'm doing now (another post for another day). I have a sneaking suspicion, it's a little bit of all of those things.

Just thinking about liking my life, about enjoying all or parts of my days is making me happier, more content. I hope this is one resolution I can figure out how to accomplish.

A Simple (but not so easy) Resolution