Sunday, September 30, 2007

A Bad Mommy Moment

This week I officially earned my Bad Mommy Club badge and simultaneously got a free trial membership for the Bad Neighbor Club. The other day, my four year old got an invitation to play with a little girl around the corner. I happily accepted and told the girl's mom that our nanny would call her when she arrived home from picking my daughter up from preschool. Unbeknownst to me, our nanny decided to run a few errands (ones I had asked her to do) on her way back from carpool and took much longer than I expected. By the time she got back, I was completely engrossed in a conference call from work and ended up forgetting all about the play date invitation until the next morning.

Needless to say, I was (and still am) completely mortified. The invitation was from a neighbor I like a lot whose daughter my daughter loves. I immediately emailed my neighbor a "I'M COMPLETELY MORTIFIED" note and called her later that day and left her a "I hope you got my note and in case you didn't, I'm so sorry!!!" voicemail. But so far I've gotten no response.

I realize that of the multitude of mommy offenses, this one is fairly tame. I mean, forgetting a play date isn't as bad as forgetting a child's school event, or forgetting to pick up a child from somewhere or you know, forgetting Christmas or something. And really, this week wasn't any ordinary week of insanity -- it was total and utter chaos. Aside from having an extremely intense week at work, three of the five home improvement projects we have going right now went horribly awry, my parents decided to drop in for a visit mid-week, the little one's school was closed for a fairly obscure Jewish holiday, and my older daughter generously bequeathed me the horrible cold she had, which meant hacking and sneezing my way through the week, snot running down my face, operating on very little sleep. And let's not forget we're still dealing with the remnants of Lice Fest 2007. But none of that was my neighbor's problem and I still feel like the biggest loser in the land of mommyville.

I could (and did) lay my guilt at the feet of my career. If I hadn't been so involved at work, if I had been the one to pick up my preschooler instead of my nanny and hadn't had to relay the message, things would have been fine. But I can't completely go there. Every time I do, I think of the time my own mom, then a SAHM, wrote down the birthday party of a new friend (and neighbor) on the wrong date in her calendar, causing me to miss the party completely. All moms make mistakes. At least my own daughter is blissfully unaware of this one.

I'm hoping my neighbor will forgive me and that I haven't completely blown a friendship for my daughter. I know my neighbor and her husband are getting ready to launch a new business venture soon and she's been a bit crazy herself. If a friend did this and told me afterwards, I'd tell my friend to give herself a break. But it's much easier to beat myself up. Help me feel better -- have you earned a spot in the Bad Mommy Club?


JUST A MOM said...

oh man that stinkssssssss

Amy S. said...

I'm so happy to report that after a full week of beating myself up and leaving yet another message begging for forgiveness, my neighbor called back and immediately said, "You're being WAY too hard on yourself. Do you know how scatterbrained I am?" Alls well that ends well.

mom2amara said...

Goodness - I was going to say the exact thing your neighbor did. You were waaaay too hard on yourself! But that's a mommy way! Why do we always punish ourselves needlessly?

I'm glad your friend called back and all is well!