She's Baaaa-aaaaack!!!

After 12 long days, Angel arrived home from camp safe and sound. The Boss, Nanny, Hubby and I all went to collect her from the bus. Hubby teased me that I was wearing my sunglasses to hide my tears. I was wearing my sunglasses because it happens to be sunny on a hot Georgia summer day, but boy, they sure did come in handy. As soon as the bus pulled up, the tears sprang to my eyes. I was so relieved she was finally home.

I immediately recognized several of the girls getting off the bus as Angel's friends from her cabin. Every day since she left, we (or, uh, maybe that was just me) scoured the camp's Web site for pictures of Angel. All of the pictures we found of her were full of huge smiles, silly faces for the camera and laughter with her friends.

She caught my eye as she got to the doorway of the bus and flew into my arms. Once she got through the family hug session, she immediately turned her attention back to saying last minute goodbyes to her friends. "Morgan!!! Bye!!! OH MY GOD!!! Where's Emily???!!! Emily!!! OH MY GOD!!! Bye!" Between the "OH MY GODs" there were squeals only pre-tween girls can muster and lots of hugs. We finally wrangled her into the car.

For the rest of the day, we took a ride on an emotional roller coaster as we got thoroughly reacquainted with the many facets of Angel. First there was the bubbly and oh-so chatty Angel who bounced off the walls and regaled us with tales of camp. According to Angel, camp was non-stop F-U-N.

"Ooh, ooh! And the other day we went water skiing, except it was on the back of like a jet skiiii*. And like, we didn't actually skiiiii, but there was this round thiiiiing, that you held on toooooo, and like, I went with Emilyyyyyy and we like kept telling them to go faster!!!!" She gave us a thumbs up and a vigorous head nod which apparently was the actual signal to go faster. "OH YEAH!!! And they had Cocoa Puffs. I had Cocoa Puffs for breakfast every day!!!" Bounce, bounce, bounce off the walls. "Oooooh, ooooh! And there was one niiiiiight, where we were going to do a sneak out, but insteeeeaaaad, they woke us up at 3 AM for a dance party!!! We had cookies and pizza bagels!!!"

*imagine sing-songy uplift kids use these days

Later that day we encountered Angel the Actress who tried to manipulate negotiate with her father,

"But DAAAAAAAD, I don't want to go to Houlihans for dinner," she whined on the phone to Hubby who was back at work. "I want to go to Burger Kiiiing!" She even managed to muster some fake tears.

We finally all compromised on Jason's Deli for dinner where we came face to face with Angel the Drama Queen, likely brought out by low blood sugar and sheer exhaustion. She was very quiet on our way over to the restaurant, clearly coming down from her earlier high, but as we waited on line to order our dinner (yes, a very classy joint), tears started to roll down her face and Angel began to sob,

"I miss camp!!! I want to go baaaaack. I miss all my friends and my counselors!!!! It was so much fun. But like, I'm happy to be home, but I'm also nooooooot."

We let her cry it out, and after a big bowl of mac and cheese and a cup of ice cream, she was back to her bubbly self.

The sweetest part of Angel's homecoming was The Boss who stared at Angel the entire day as if she was in the presence of a rock star. "Angel, I missed you SOOOO much," she blurted out several times throughout the day. There was even an "Angel, I love you." She sat next to her sister whenever she could and at one point, rested her head on Angel's shoulder. Enough to make any mom's heart melt.

At bed time, Angel informed me, "Next summer, I'll be old enough to go back to camp for a whole month!" Oh, god. Help me.

She's Baaaa-aaaaack!!!

Letting Go

I have a sadness headache. We sent Angel off to sleep-away camp for the first time today.

We've been preparing for this for three years, ever since Angel's best friend's family invited Angel up to the camp with them when they were looking at it for their older daughter, Laci. Somewhere between the water slide and the horseback riding, Angel fell in love with the camp and decided at age 5 that she was going to go as soon as she was old enough.

I remember that first summer Laci was in camp. Her mom was a total wreck. She walked around in a daze and obsessed about Laci the entire two weeks. I arrogantly thought to myself, I won't be like that when Angel goes to camp. Angel is WAY more mature -- she'll adjust in two seconds and be just fine.

Boy, am I an idiot.

I'm not actually worried about how Angel is adjusting. I couldn't believe how composed she was getting on that bus, not knowing a soul. She had confessed earlier that she was a little nervous about going to camp, but as we walked on the bus to settle her in her seat, she was already scanning the crowd, trying to decide who her next best friend was going to be.

But I was completely and utterly unprepared for the separation anxiety -- MINE. This morning, I couldn't be in the same room with Angel without my eyes welling up. When I walked her onto the bus and leaned over to kiss her goodbye, my throat closed up. I couldn't speak. I nearly panicked when I realized that if I opened my mouth, I would surely dissolve into a puddle of tears. I gave Angel a peck, squeaked/whispered goodbye and bolted off the bus. I held it together just long enough to make it to Hubby's shoulder where I actually DID dissolve into a puddle of tears.

The house seems so empty without her, which is weird because it's not like she's never spent a night away from home before. But I already miss her smile, her freckles, her infectious laugh, her curls and her tight, tight goodnight hugs.

Man, this motherhood stuff is not for the faint-hearted. Half a day down. Eleven and a half more to go.

Letting Go