Sunday, March 11, 2007

The Secret to "The Secret"

Everyone's all a buzz about Oprah's latest find, "The Secret." According to its official Web site, "The Secret" is the gateway to all you've ever wanted -- unlimited joy, health, love, money, and so on.

"The Secret" is based on the law of attraction -- we attract things into our lives by what we think and believe. So if you focus on negative things, you'll attract bad things to you. If you focus on positive things, you'll attract wonderful things to you. Simple, right? So now that we all know "The Secret," we can all be ecstatically happy, skinny billionaires with fulfilling careers and perfect families (like Oprah, but thinner)! All you have to do is "Ask. Believe. Receive."

It sounds too good to be true, but I have to admit, I have seen "The Secret" work in my life. Right after college, I was diagnosed with cancer. I had been going through a rough time, all of my friends had moved away after graduation and I could not find a job. I was depressed. But after my diagnosis, my attitude changed. I knew I would live through the ordeal and adopted a positive outlook to convince my friends and family of the same. Suddenly, I was offered a contract job that allowed me to work full time but take time off for my treatment. Despite having chemo, I kept most of my hair. But about halfway through my treatment, the darker side of my reality started to cloud my positive attitude. My contract position was eliminated and my hair began to fall out in clumps. At the urging of my then boyfriend (now husband), I went into therapy, rid myself of my negative emotions and refocused on where I wanted to go. I finished treatment, found an amazing job that not only jump started my career, but introduced me to a incredible group of young dynamic people, many of whom are still my friends today.

About four years ago, just before the birth of my second daughter, I decided I'd had enough of the working mommy whirlwind. It was hard enough juggling one child and a demanding full-time job, I just knew I didn't want to do it with two children. But of course the professional in me didn't want to give up a job I loved and a career I had worked so hard to build. As I despaired, my husband asked, "What would be the ideal situation for you?" I told him I'd love to do my current job part-time so I could be with my children, yet satisfy my professional drive. Three days later, my boss asked me to consider part-time work instead of leaving all together. I've had the best of both worlds ever since.

But "Ask. Believe. Receive," is much easier said than done. Not only do you have to look past all the crappy things that may be happening to you, you have to believe that you deserve the good things in life. That's a particular stretch for us moms. We're programmed to never ask for anything. And because we're too busy beating ourselves up about all of the things we didn't do right as a mother, a wife, a friend, we certainly don't believe we deserve it.

This is core reason I wanted to write this blog. To make our lives better, we have to begin to believe that we deserve better than what we have now. We have to believe we deserve the respect of our families and our society. We have to believe that we can combine fulfilling careers with a flourishing family. We have to believe that our voices can make a difference and that we can, eventually, "Have it all." The secret to "The Secret" is believing that we deserve to live the life we want to lead as mothers and as dynamic women. All we have to do is believe.

No comments: